Reframing Rejection with Jessica Van Roekel

Our Guest today is Jessica Van Roekel. She is the author of the book: Reframing Rejection -

Are you constantly twist yourself into knots trying to please everyone around you? It's time to break free from the chains of insecurity and embrace the life you were meant to live. Jessica Van Roekel offers a transformative journey from the suffocating grip of people pleasing to the exhilarating freedom of self acceptance. In this episode Jessica helps you  identify the 4 categories of rejection that may be holding you back. And she will offer four powerful lenses to help you reframe your rejection experience, discover God's purpose for you even in the face of setbacks.

Listen as Jessica and Rhonda discuss practical ways you can shed the exhausting burden of seeking others approval and embrace the liberating sufficiency of Jesus in your life.

Jessica says, "Imagine waking up every day feeling confident, purposeful, and free from the fear of what others think. Reframing Rejection doesn't just offer temporary solutions. It provides a road map to lasting change, empowering you to live boldly as the person God created you to be. Don't let another day slip by in the shadow of rejection.

Jessica's Book: Reframing Rejection - How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything
Get your copy of Reframing Rejection today and start your journey to becoming unapologetically you.

Website: WelcomeGrace.com
FREE Resources:

•  7 Hebrew words of praise. 
•  1 page download, Finding Wisdom from Philippians to reframe the 4 different types of rejection. 
• 3 day Reframing Rejection Challenge - Video Teaching and a Downloadable Worksheet to walk you through your past, present, and future.
• Grace Notes Newsletter
  
  

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"This podcast is for the purpose of mentoring only and is not a replacement for therapy. We suggest you seek out the help of a trained biblical counselor for help with your specific situation.”

Transcript

 Rhonda Stoppe [00:00:01]:
Hey, friends. Welcome to another episode of Old Ladies Know Stuff with Rhonda Stoppe and Friends, and today I have a friend I cannot wait to introduce you to. Her name is Jessica Van Roekel, and she loves the upside down life of following Jesus as she journeys to wholeness through brokenness. As an author, speaker, and worship pastor, she uses her gifts and experiences to share God's transformative power to rescue, restore, and renew. I love that. Jessica longs for you to know that rejection doesn't have to define or determine your future when placed in God's healing hands. Jessica and her husband have 2 adult daughters spreading their wings, a son in college and a high school daughter fluttering their wings as they edge closer to the nest. Connect with, Jessica at her website welcome grace.com, and I'm gonna bring you on.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:01:02]:
Hi, Jessica. Hi, Rhonda. So excited to meet you. I know I I dropped the ball last week. I was supposed to interview, and I was in studio recording the audio version of my book. Where is it? That orange book right there. If my husband would change, I'd be happy. And I was like, oh, so literally, I'm all plugged in, and I'm going, sorry.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:01:21]:
Whoops. Because it was a last minute Christian audio book the studio, and I just went for it. So thank you for being gracious.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:01:28]:
Yeah. Well, thank you so much for sharing your audience with me and letting me come on and chat with you about, frankly, a painful topic that I think we don't want to address, but I really do believe that phrase from my bio, we journey to wholeness through our brokenness.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:01:47]:
Yes. I love that. I love that. So tell us about your book, Reframing Rejection. Actually, let me just read the back cover copy because I think it's so good. Are you tired of living in fear of rejection? Oh, we could just stop there. Right?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:02:02]:
Mhmm.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:02:02]:
You constantly twist yourself into knots trying to please everyone around you. It's time to break free from the chains of insecurity and embrace the life you were meant to live. Jessica Van Roekel offers a transformative journey from the suffocating grip of people pleasing to the exhilarating freedom of self acceptance. In this book, you will learn how to identify the 4 categories of rejection that may be holding you back, master 4 powerful lenses to reframe your rejection experience, discover God's purpose for you even in the face of setbacks, Shed the exhausting burden of seeking others approval, embrace the liberating sufficiency of Jesus in your life. Imagine waking up every day feeling confident, purposeful, and free from the fear of what others think. Refaming Reframing Rejection doesn't just offer temporary solutions. It provides a road map to lasting change, empowering you to live boldly as the person God created you to be. Don't let another day slip by in the shadow of rejection.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:03:10]:
Get your copy of Reframing Rejection today and start your journey to becoming the best version of you, I'm sorry, of yourself unapologetically you. I love that. Unapologetically you. Because how many of us are like, sorry, but Yeah. Yeah. We say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:03:27]:
So often and Yes.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:03:27]:
We really diminish the work that God does

Jessica Van Roekel [00:03:27]:
in us and wants to do in us when we when we continue to apologize just

Rhonda Stoppe [00:03:30]:
for existing. Right. Or I I know I have I'm a pastor's wife. And Steve and I are very accessible to our congregation. You can text us at any time of the day or night. I say I don't I do not look at my phone before 10 o'clock in the morning. So if anyone texts me before 10 AM, that's gonna have to wait. But I'll text you back at 1 o'clock in the morning because I'm still awake.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:03:57]:
But we are the same shift family. And let's be honest. People's people's emergencies happen after midnight. Always. If you're a pastor, if you go to bed at at 10 o'clock, someone's gonna wake you up with an emergency at 12:53 AM.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:04:11]:
Yes. Yes. For sure. For sure. I love that.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:04:14]:
So but I have one woman that will text me and ask me a question, and she always says, so sorry to bother you blah blah blah. I'm so sorry that I bothered you. I know you're busy, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, it's never a bother. It's not your you know, I'm not too busy. But let's unpack some of this and the reasons, and I'm gonna get just right into some of the questions I wanna ask you before we run out of time. Tell me from your experience, what are the different types of rejection? Yeah.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:04:40]:
So when I started really diving into this topic, I and someone asked me, well, what type of rejections are you wanting to explore, you know, from spouse to spouse or mother daughter or sibling or you know, they listed off the different rejection experiences we have. But as I started examining the different those different angles, I really came out with a different set of categories of rejection. And I've I've narrowed them down to actual rejection, an perceived rejection, intentional rejection, and unintentional rejection.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:05:22]:
Oh, can you say those again?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:05:23]:
Yeah. So actual rejection, perceived rejection, intentional rejection, and unintentional rejection.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:05:33]:
Wow. So I'm gonna just keep moving forward in the question. I thought we can just stay on question 1 the whole rest of the time. What are some ways that our disordered view of rejection shows up in our lives?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:05:46]:
Oh, well, I think you've got people pleasing at the top of the list. That desire for people's approval, recovering people person addict. I I don't know. I read a story to my kids, you are special, by Max Lucado, years ago, and it was the story of the WEMEX. And they would go around putting gray dots on people they didn't like and yellow stars on the people they did. And there was this one where they didn't either the gray dots and the yellow stars, they didn't stick to her, you know, because she knew her creator. And and so I just wanted to take us take away that people pleasing aspect. Yeah.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:06:29]:
You know, address that. That's number 1. Secondly, I think is a sense of control. We want to control what what people see about us. So whether we're afraid of being hurt, and so we're going to hold people at arms length lengths, we're we're desiring to control how they see us so that we don't allow ourselves to be fully seen, whether it's our strengths or our weaknesses. So we've got people pleasing control, and then I do think perfectionism is another big one. If I can be perfect, maybe I won't be rejected. Mhmm.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:07:03]:
So those are the top 3. Some other ones, some sub ones would be, keeping your circle of people in your life really small, not allowing new people in, holding people at arms length, prejudging them as, well, I don't they're gonna reject me anyway, so I'm not gonna really be friendly. Those types of behaviors.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:07:25]:
I love that. And honestly, so much of it stems from who we are as a child. Right? I was a middle child, and I just wanted to make everybody get along. I just was a people pleaser. And I I thought I was a peace maker, but I wasn't. I was a peace keeper. And if you've ever read Ken Sandy's book, The Peacemaker, you realize how wrong it is to just do, you know, peace at whatever cost. Right.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:07:49]:
And, so, yeah, my people pleasing tendencies, there's a section in my book, moms raising sons to be men called people pleasing isn't pleasing. There's another section called control freaks raise freaks. All of that comes to, you know, I wanna I want my kids, I wanna be so, people pleasing that I wanna raise my kids. So you think well of me. I wanna tell my kids not to wear that thing or do that thing. Not necessarily because I have a conviction about it, but you might. And I don't want you to think I'm a bad mom, so I better make my kid live up to your expectation, not God's expectation. And it's really not for God's glory.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:08:26]:
It's for my own glory. Right? And that Yeah. Tendency is really seeking glory for ourself.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:08:32]:
It is. It is. Which when you tell someone, oh, especially if someone struggles with fear of rejection.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:08:40]:
Yeah. Right.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:08:41]:
But I don't want the glory for myself. I mean, I've done that. I've been so bound up with the fear of rejection that I'm like, when someone has confronted me with the insecurity that has been a fallout of the the fear of rejection, and they've said, well, that's actually a form of pride. And I remember getting my hackles up just a little bit because I thought that was a a little wrong. But the older I've gotten and the more research I've done about rejection and and, researching by the bible and what God says about us and how his heart is for us, they were exactly spot on. I was seeking that glory for myself, and that is God is God does not wanna share his glory.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:09:24]:
Right. Yeah. And, honestly, it's so it's so ingrained in us, I think, that it takes someone like you that has done the research that has written this book that has, you know, let's take ourselves slowly through unpacking what motivates me. Because a lot of times we don't spend time even looking at what motivates us to be afraid of being rejected, or what rejection have we experienced in our past that we don't ever want to feel that again. And so therefore, I'm going to hold everyone at arm's length. So what was the reason you wrote this book? Tell me a little bit about it, your story.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:10:03]:
Well, you know, I I wasn't a middle child. I was an oldest child. And, you know, there's there's 2 different types of oldest child. There's the super responsible one, you know, pave their own way, and then there's the super responsible one, let's make everybody happy. And I was the super responsible, let's make everybody happy. And just the feeling that I never really could, that it was too big of a job. And later on, you know, different experiences as a child and adolescence, and I really like to say that my life is split into categories of being bullied by rejection, of me twisting myself into all kinds of shapes to avoid rejection at all costs. And then there was a period of time where God's like, honey, we gotta untwist and untangle some of these these thoughts that you have about yourself and me and other people.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:11:02]:
And then there was the day that, you know, I reached a milestone birthday, and I thought, I'm really kinda tired of waiting for rejection to come just beat me up again. I think I need to I really think I need to face this.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:11:14]:
Yeah.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:11:14]:
So god and I went on a journey, and he showed me revelation after revelation about myself and my disordered thinking towards myself and and how that has spilled over into how I seek god and how I've let fear of rejection be a beast preventing me from really loving others the way that god intended me to do. And then he took me through this situation where I had to practice everything I learned.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:11:41]:
Ouch.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:11:42]:
Yes. Ouch. Ouch in all capital letters. You know? And that's I look back on that now, and it it really was one of the most painful times of my life, and yet it has brought the most fruits out of my life personally. It's because how can we truly walk in the freedom God has given us if he doesn't give us opportunities to walk in that freedom.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:12:11]:
Yeah. How would you say all of that that you just unpacked has been has influenced your parenting? Because I have a lot of moms on here that Yeah. Wanna know how I can learn this about myself, but how is this gonna affect the way I raise my children or my marriage?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:12:27]:
Absolutely. Well, some I'm I'm a mom of 4, so I've got kids ranging from 25 to 17. And sometimes I wouldn't do what was best for my child because I was afraid they would reject me. And love really does what is best, not necessarily what they want or what's most comfortable.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:12:51]:
Yeah. Yeah. So a

Jessica Van Roekel [00:12:52]:
lot of times, I'd be afraid of my child's response to me set putting my foot down or setting up some boundaries or having that hard conversation. So that's one aspect. And then the other thing is because I am overly sensitive to rejection, and God has shown me how to circle around it in a way that it doesn't harm our relationship with me and God and me and my children, is that I was then able to help my girls. I have 3 daughters, 1 son. I was able to help them navigate their own feelings of perceived rejection

Rhonda Stoppe [00:13:27]:
Mhmm.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:13:27]:
And helping them be a walk through the the painful aspects of actual rejection. Those

Rhonda Stoppe [00:13:34]:
the fact

Jessica Van Roekel [00:13:35]:
that you didn't get the solo that you really desperately wanted or the fact that you had a misunderstanding with a friend and you guys just missed each other's hearts in that, and it left you feeling rejected or even to the one where the friend just said, sorry. I don't wanna be your friend anymore.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:13:51]:
Yeah. And

Jessica Van Roekel [00:13:52]:
that's hard as a mom. And and so when we when I am dealing with my own issues and my kids have issues, if I am not bringing my issues to the throne of God and saying, Lord, I need your help. I know that I have this fear of rejection that that bosses me around. I know that I struggle with people approval and people pleasing and perfection and control, and yet you've given me these hearts to steward and you've given me these hearts to guide into adulthood. Lord, work in my heart so that I'm not a roadblock for what you wanna do in their heart.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:14:36]:
Yes. And and I feel like that's a really great insight to how we can reframe rejection because that's how we're gonna be led to healing and freedom. Right?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:14:47]:
Yes.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:14:48]:
And that honestly, it's recognizing that we need healing and that we need to be set free. Because I think sometimes bondage is so familiar, especially if you've been raised with it, especially if it's part of your your birth order or your your makeup but you don't even need you need you know, don't even realize you need to be healed or reframed. Is that right?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:15:08]:
I I do think so. I think there's we have to start with a self awareness. We have to start with allowing the holy spirit more than just self awareness, but allowing the holy spirit all access to our hearts. And if we start to notice a pattern of, oh, I I seem to always think that no one's gonna like me if I walk into this new PTA meeting or this new volunteer opportunity with other parents or at church. You know, if I'm constantly thinking these thoughts like, well, they're not gonna my ideas are worthless or they're not gonna like me. That's a that's a sign that maybe God wants to take us take me a little bit deeper. Yeah. But fully, we have to be willing to ask the holy spirit to search me, oh, God, and know my heart.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:15:54]:
Mhmm. To see if there's any and I know one version says wicked way, but I like to think any way that doesn't that leads me away from you. And fear of rejection is going to lead us away from a deeper relationship with God because frankly, rejection is like this 3 pronged weapon. It impacts our relationship with God. It impacts our relationship with ourselves and with others. And so if I have this fear of rejection hanging over me, whether from parents or siblings or friends or teachers or college professors or work buddies, how can I not have that with God Yeah? If that's what I'm living in every day of my life? So that to be willing to ask the Holy Spirit, search me, show me, Lead me. Guide me. God loves us enough to meet us right in the middle of our mess, and then he guides us through the mess

Rhonda Stoppe [00:16:53]:
Yes.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:16:54]:
To something beautiful on the other side. But it is scary, and it it can be painful, but it's worth it in the end.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:17:02]:
It is. And I think even just with raising daughters and sons too, but I think of daughters, if they have, you know, if you recognize this in your child as they're growing and maybe they're reflecting what they've seen in you, because how often is that when we see it and go, oh, no, I'm handing the baton to the next generation of something I don't want them to be victim of.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:17:21]:
Yes.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:17:22]:
But how many girls end up becoming sexually active with that, you know, quarterback football player that took them to prom Yeah. Because they don't want them to be they don't wanna be rejected. They want and and girls think, and moms listen to this, girls think if I give my body to him, he'll never reject me. He'll want me. He'll bond with me forever. And in reality, that usually is not the case. But we have to have those real hard conversations with our children and specifically our daughters in that situation. Yes.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:17:54]:
Because there is such a cultural belief such, you know, every rom com movie you watch, every love story that you hear that not Christ honoring is is instructing our daughters, give yourself to him, and he'll love you forever. If you don't, he's gonna go find someone who will. And and that fear of rejection, don't they just cross over lines that they know they don't even want to, but yet it's so ingrained in them.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:18:21]:
It is. And and our children do mirror us.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:18:26]:
And

Jessica Van Roekel [00:18:27]:
this is I was definitely afraid of spiders like scream run to the other side of the room. No joke. I've startled we were newlyweds scared my husband half to death because I literally screamed at the top of my lungs dashed. I think I left across the room. I don't even know if my feet touched the ground. And I knew it was irrational. I knew it was over the top. And then I had my first baby.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:18:54]:
Mhmm. And I was like, I don't wanna give this fear to her. I've I've got to address my fear of spiders.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:19:04]:
Mhmm.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:19:06]:
And that's a that's a very funny example, but it translates to this fear of rejection. And and for us to know in our own hearts that if we give ourselves wholly to God, he will never reject us. And if we can teach our daughters and sons to do the same, to give themselves wholly to God, they're gonna find acceptance, that acceptance that they're longing for

Rhonda Stoppe [00:19:34]:
Mhmm.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:19:35]:
Rather than finding it in a person. And that's that's really at its core. Fear of rejection is that fear of placing people's opinions on the higher than God's opinions, frankly.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:19:48]:
Right. For sure. Yeah. Such a danger in that. And we do it on all levels of our of our lives and at all ages of our lives. Right? There's just I have 15 grandkids and some of them are very, very young and will come devastated because, you know, someone said something or didn't include them or all those things. And and I love having, you know, doing life in a community with other like minded moms that have the the goal of glorifying the Lord with the way they're bringing their kids up, directing their kids to Christ, knowing kids will conflict. But knowing that when iron sharpens iron, we have an opportunity to teach them not to feel rejected, to find their worth in Christ's love for them, and to cover with love when someone doesn't measure up to their expectations.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:20:36]:
There's such value in that instead of just living in our own little bubble. Yeah. Keeping ourselves safe from what might offend or what might hurt my children or myself. Yeah. Yeah. So I I love having that not and and it's self aware, but it's obviously like you say, it's not just meditating on myself and getting in my self. It's saying, speak to me, oh, God, and know my heart. Try me, know my anxious thoughts.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:21:02]:
See if there's any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. What are my anxious thoughts? Fear of man. The book When People Are Big and God is Small is a great resource. Yes. That to me, if you can train your children and learn it yourself, what freedom and God saves us into good works that he that he wants us to walk in so that he can entrust us to shine the the hope of the gospel to a generation who's desperately in need of finding their worth in who how much their creator loves them and not in how well they're accepted by how many likes or follows or comments they're getting on social media and all those things. Right?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:21:45]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. I was just thinking about that phrase, his banner over me as love. Yes. Yes. And there are times even I'm looking at the mid century mark. There are times when I'm gonna I'm I'm walking into a situation where I am just right back there dealing with the same fears, the same, oh, do I need how perfect do I need to be? My little trick was I would try and figure out what was important to the other person, and then I would become that person to avoid rejection.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:22:18]:
Yeah. And that's exhausting.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:22:20]:
It's exhausting. A lot of mental hoops. But I've started thinking about this banner. His banner over me is love. Yeah. And that's, like, the standard to which I march to. That's his, that's my, I'm like holding onto the little flags that says, it's banner over me is love. And yeah, it's banner over me is love.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:22:41]:
And every time I go into a situation where, where the those thoughts of fear of rejection, the the thoughts of, I gotta be perfect. I've got to please them at all costs. The Lord gently brings that back to me. He goes, if you just stay under my banner. Mhmm. It doesn't matter if they like you or if they don't like you.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:01]:
Mhmm.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:23:01]:
I love you.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:04]:
That's wonderful. And, honestly, I'm 63 years old. My husband's been at the same church for 25 years, love our church congregation. We have this beautiful relationship with our church family. And just this past year, someone left the church and it was over an offend how the leaving became ugly. And and it was interesting how much it affected me in, I wonder if that person's gonna leave too. I wonder if that person's gonna leave. But in that, it's interesting how many years can go by where you think, okay, I'm not under under that people pleasing or fear of rejection like I was as a younger woman and some experience that cuts straight to your heart.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:46]:
Now it's so easy to just wanna pull back in and not just reengage with people because I don't I don't think my heart could take another one. You know what I mean?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:23:58]:
Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes. I've had I've had a couple of friendships that have ended in the land of rejection. And after those, I found myself closing the door, closing the door to, bible studies in my home, closing the door to, you know, setting up play dates for my kids. I would close I just would I just closed the door and I said, uh-uh. I I I don't wanna take the risk. And then at the same time, really worried about the current friendships I had wondering, well, are these gonna end that way? I mean, that that was it was like a loss.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:24:36]:
It was it was a loss. Grievous. It was yeah. I really grieved, and it was extraordinarily painful. But yet the Lord kept bringing him back. Mhmm. I want you to live life arms wide open.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:24:48]:
Yeah. Mhmm.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:24:49]:
Trust me with the people that come into your life. Trust me with the people that go out of your life.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:24:55]:
Yeah. Mhmm. That's great. That's wonderful. K. One more real quick question. Let's see. Let me ask you this.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:02]:
What suggestions do you have that someone could begin to implement today to make changes in their own life? Obviously, let's get your book because I think that's gonna give all the resource that they are looking for.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:25:14]:
Yeah. Well, thank you for that. And I would say to something to put into practice today is to really settle in your heart that Jesus bears scars on his on his resurrected body because of his love for you. He endured immense suffering and rejection, ultimate rejection. The people that that he was sent to save rejected him. He bears those scars as a reminder of his love for you.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:54]:
Yeah. I love that.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:25:56]:
So I'm I'm gonna that that comes back. It's simple, but can be hard when your life is wrecked by fear of rejection. Let's start by accepting and receiving the truth that Jesus loves you. God's love is everlasting and steadfast, and he looks on you with pride and he looks on you with love and fondness.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:26:20]:
Mhmm. Start there. Yes, I love that. And to those of my friends that have gone through a painful separation or divorce, rejection by your spouse who promised to love you until the day that he died. We know that it is not a one and done. I'm not gonna feel rejected anymore. I'm gonna get victory over that. My heart is with you.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:26:42]:
And those rejections happen every time you have to hand the kids off for visitation, or he brings his girlfriend, or sends his girlfriend to pick the kids up for the visitation. All of those rejections just keep hammering and pounding at your broken heart. And you are not alone, my friend. Many, many women and men. I just interviewed Bob Smiley in my last interview, and his whole story was the rejection of his wife of 17 years who left him for another man and left him with their 3 grown or, you know, teenage sons. And rejection can seem like it will never ever go away and it will destroy you. And yet, I loved how Bob defined it. He said, we just found stuff to laugh about.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:27:28]:
Mhmm. We fought for joy. And let me just tell you, there are women who have walked ahead of you in this trial. That's why I love my podcast title, Old Ladies Know Stuff. Titus 2 calls the older women to teach the younger, and the younger women that are walking through this, look around for an older woman. Or maybe you're a middle aged woman and you're that textbook, the kids have grown, moved out, and now all of a sudden the marriage dissolved and your husband has left. Find a woman who's walked the the path ahead of you with her eyes fixed on Jesus, who has found her worth in his adoration for her in his you know, I think of the scripture, oh, what manner of love the father has given unto us that we should be called the sons and the daughters of God. And while people, men, friends, spouses, parents, maybe you have a prodigal child, they you they reject you.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:28:21]:
There is hope, and you can reframe that direction. And I love this subtitle, this book by looking through a different lens and it will change everything real quick. Tell us about the freebies that you have for us.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:28:34]:
Well, I have a few different freebies in one of my chapters about delight, how God delights in us. I have, there's a freebie on my website, welcome grace.com, about the 7 Hebrew words of praise. We have one English word, but there are 7 different Hebrew words that we've translated into praise, and each one has a slightly different, mode of praise. So that's that can be found on my website. And then I ask I have a 1 page download, finding wisdom from Philippians to reframe the diff 4 different types of rejection. And then for brand new subscribers, I have a 3 day reframing rejection challenge, which comes with a video teaching and a downloadable worksheet to walk you through your past, present, and future.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:29:24]:
Alright. And if you sign up for that newsletter, you get a newsletter. Is it called grace notes? Is that the one way?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:29:29]:
I send out grace notes twice a month. It's a short devotion with reflection designed really to encourage you in your daily walk with Christ because I believe it's our daily decisions that we make with Christ that sets the foundation for when those devastating moments come because we will all face devastation of some kind, suffering of some kind.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:29:49]:
Yes.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:29:50]:
And I wanna see you make the choice to keep loving God, to keep serving him, to keep seeking him. And it's those day to day choices that we can fall back on when those hard those big hard things happen.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:30:03]:
Yes. This has been such an encouraging, uplifting, and inspiring conversation. Friends, this this is Jessica Van Roekel. You can find her website at welcomegrace.com. All of her social media links, you can find her book there. I'm sure you can find her book on Amazon. I've already seen it there. Wherever books are sold.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:30:24]:
I subscribe to this episode. Subscribe on this YouTube channel. Before we close real quick, would you pray for our listeners?

Jessica Van Roekel [00:30:33]:
Yes. I would be happy to. Thank you. Lord Jesus, I just thank you for who you are and how you love us. Lord, we come to you with broken hearts, broken over things that have happened in our past, heartbreak over the present, and that fear of what's gonna happen in the future. Lord, you are big enough to wrap your arms around everything that hurts us, that causes us pain. Lord, you are big enough to take our rejected hearts and to fill them with this with the with your love that says, I love you with an everlasting love. Lord, I ask that any listener that's listening today that that feels like their world is falling apart.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:31:23]:
Lord, I pray that they would know that you are there with them right in the middle of the mess, helping them pick up the pieces, and that you're holding the the hardest, sharpest ones in your hands. Lord, I pray for healing. I pray for joy to return. I pray for wisdom, and I pray for your peace. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:31:49]:
Thanks so much. I've so enjoyed our conversation.

Jessica Van Roekel [00:31:51]:
Thank you. Thank you so much, Rhonda, for having me. This was just delightful.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:31:55]:
It was great.