Help My Troubled Teen with Crisis Expert: Trace Embry

"Help My Troubled Teen" with Crisis Expert, Trace Embry. Don't miss this incredibly practical conversation with teen with Expert_ Trace Embry.

BIO:

Trace Embry is the Co-founder & Director of Shepherd's Hill Academy (SHA), a Christian nature-based, therapeutic residential program, as well as a private accredited school for troubled teenagers.  He has over 30 years experience working with families of troubled teens.  All aspects of the ministry operate using solid biblical principles to address life’s issues.

Trace's previous background is in Law Enforcement, Entrepreneurship, and Christian Education.  He is the radio program Host of “License to Parent with Trace Embry.”  giving Insight for Today’s Culture and biblical guidance to parents of hurting families and struggling teenagers. "License to Parent with Trace Embry" is a member of the National Religious Broadcasters (NRB).

Trace is the Author of the book “The Miracles of Shepherd's Hill-An Extraordinary Odyssey of Divine Interventions” which is a true account of his divinely inspired vision and his family’s journey of radical faith during the founding of Shepherd’s Hill Academy. 

RESOURCES & MENTIONS:
License to Parent Episode with Rhonda Stoppe - Moms Raising Men
Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Common Teen Issues

4 Ways Shepherd's Hill Academy Helps Troubled Teens

Location:
2200 Price Road Martin, Georgia 30557 (706) 779-5766

QUICK LINKS
Program Overview

Staff

Careers

Therapy

Admissions

Donate

FAQ

SMARTERPHONE

Thank you for joining us. Please SUBSCRIBE & SHARE
Sign up for Rhonda's Monthly Newsletter @ NoRegretsWoman.com
CONNECT with Rhonda @RhondaStoppe
Facebook Page: Rhonda Stoppe No Regrets Woman
NoRegretsWoman.com

"This podcast is for the purpose of mentoring only and is not a replacement for therapy. We suggest you seek out the help of a trained biblical counselor for help with your specific situation.”

Transcript

Rhonda Stoppe [00:00:02]:
Hey, everybody. Welcome to this exciting episode of Old Ladies Know Stuff. And I have someone on the broadcast today that is not an old lady, but he knows stuff. And I was a guest on Trace's show, and I just knew you all had to hear from him. Today, our guest is Trace Embry, and he is the cofounder and director of Shepherd's Hill Academy. It's a Christian nature based therapeutic residential program as well as a private accredited school for troubled teenagers. Let's take a breath.

Trace Embry [00:00:40]:
He

Rhonda Stoppe [00:00:41]:
has over 30 years of experience working with families of troubled teens. All aspects of the ministry operate using solid biblical principles to address life's issues. Trey's previous background is in law enforcement, entrepreneurship, and Christian education. He's the radio program host of License to Parent with Trace Embry. License to Parent gives insight for today's culture and biblical guidance to parents of hurting families and struggling teenagers. License to Parent with Trace Embry is a member of the National Religious Broadcasters Association. And if you are not following that show, I highly suggest you do that right now. Trace is the author of the book, The Miracles of Shepherd's Hill, an extraordinary odyssey of divine interventions, which is a true account of his divinely inspired vision and his family's journey of radical faith during the founding of Shepherd's Hill Academy, and I will put the link to that book in the show notes.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:01:45]:
He also speaks at civic organizations and churches for other humanitarian efforts to help hurting parents and families. Trace produces parent help videos. He writes parent help blogs. He teaches parenting classes. His ministry is has impacted the lives of hundreds of teens and their families. He's been married to his wife, Beth, since 1980. We got married in 81, so we're right there with you. Yeah.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:02:11]:
Together, they have 5 children and 8 grandchildren with number 9 on the way in 2023. We have 15 grandchildren, so winner winner chicken dinner. But, Trace, welcome to the program. And I had to take a breath when I talked about troubled teens. I was in youth ministry alongside of my husband for 18 years. My husband's been a senior pastor for 23 years, and this is the burden. There are some that are gonna be listening today that are walking with their troubled teen, but so many of my listeners are watching and wanting insights before they get down that path of having a troubled teen. So welcome to the show.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:02:48]:
We have so much that we wanna learn from you today.

Trace Embry [00:02:50]:
Well, thank you for having me.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:02:53]:
Thank you. Before we get started, let's talk about your website. So I wanna make sure everyone knows where they can find you. Where can they go to find you and your book and all of your resources?

Trace Embry [00:03:01]:
Sure. Well, for Shepherd's Hill Academy, it's it's just shepherdshillacademy.org, or you can go to, everyone misspells Shepherd's Hill. So, help my troubled teen dotorg, or license to parent dotorg if if you wanna hear our radio archives. And we've had, you know, anyone that you'd hear on any Christian broadcast around the world, we've had on our broadcast. Pretty much everyone from Focus on the Family and others like it. But it's a nationally syndicated radio program. I'm about I wanna say I I'm not really sure. Somewhere between 3 and 4 stations across the country.

Trace Embry [00:03:39]:
So it's not, like, giant, but, we do get some really good feedback. And we discuss things that, we feel like, more parents need to be asking about in in art, you know, which we

Rhonda Stoppe [00:03:50]:
Yeah. Have you been have you been a guest on Focus on the Family?

Trace Embry [00:03:54]:
I have not. I probably I'm going to NRB. I maybe I'm trying to set up a meeting with with, John Fuller's and maybe You

Rhonda Stoppe [00:04:01]:
knew that. John Fuller wrote the, endorsement. It appears on the cover of my book, and I actually, my son Brandon and I are going out there in June for an interview. So I'll put a little bug in there. Yeah.

Trace Embry [00:04:10]:
Put put a bug in. It was there. I I yeah. I've had dinner with John. I we would talk at at usually every time we we we go to NRV. Great people. Just wonderful people at at, at Focus. We're on our referral list for Shepherd's Hill and, just we got we got a really good relationship.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:04:27]:
I agree. They are so fantastic, and they are doing so much to help families thrive. So let's jump into some of these questions. Can you tell us how Shepherd's Hill Academy came into being? How it is impacting not just teenagers, but their families also and their extended families, friends, and even folks around the world. I am so excited to share this information with our listeners.

Trace Embry [00:04:49]:
Yeah. Well, if you want the full story a to z, you need to get the book, Miracles of Shepherd's Hill. It really is a is a 30 plus year odyssey of just bumper to bumper miraculous events. But the bottom line is, you know, you start having kids, and, you start thinking about the deeper things of life. You know? And, we we were doing well. I mean, we're pursuing the American dream, and I had 3 kids. And, you know, I woke up one day thinking I'm gonna do this tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that. And, you know, the Lord just starts tapping us on the shoulder, you know, you know, that that nagging still small, voice.

Trace Embry [00:05:28]:
I had not been in church. I had a friend that invited me to come to church. He was a fellow policeman. And it just it clicked. And then we you know, we knew not to kill anybody, don't lie, don't steal, don't cheat. But this the pastor there, he he really spoke some some deep spiritual insights. And and so now we start to hear more of the the deeper things, you know, things aren't just the simple ten commandments, like whether to brush your teeth or comb your hair first in the morning. One of the things that were was just knocking my wife, and I back both of us was the Lord wanted to use us for ministry.

Trace Embry [00:06:09]:
We didn't even know the word capacity. You know? It it was just, we we felt like we needed to go to bible college, and we had to sell everything and and give away what we couldn't sell to move 700 miles to go to Georgia's to obey the light that God gave us. You know? And and I found out once you obey the light that God gives you, he gives you more light. And then the vision starts become clearer to the point where, okay, now you're you're you're starting to catch on. The vision becomes clear, and then and then it's just you just keep obeying. You keep hearing. You keep obeying. But the key is to seek his face on a daily basis, and he'll show you show you what to do.

Trace Embry [00:06:50]:
The last thing I ever wanted to do was to create an Ishmael. You know? I I didn't wanna get the cart before the horse and create this man made, you know, parachurch ministry. But it wasn't until we got to Bible College that we we realized that we weren't gonna be a missionary or a pastor in the traditional sense. The Lord spoke very clearly, you need land, start looking for it. So I assumed it was in the area. We packed the kids up in the minivan every every weekend and, hit the highways and byways in North Georgia. And the first place we saw, we said, this is it. We just knew this was it.

Trace Embry [00:07:23]:
But it wasn't for sale. It was just an old man in farm. And a year and a half later, after trespassing on it, about every month for a year and a half, going out on on the, on shepher we call Shepherd's Hill today. Overlook in the mountains to the north, we would pray, lord, if you want this to be, you know, our ministry, then you're gonna have to make things happen. Well, it was an old abandoned, drug operation, farm. There's a triple murder involved in it. So it was all tied up in the legal system, which is why it wasn't for sale. It's like the house had green acres.

Trace Embry [00:07:54]:
Matter of fact, it's all we've painted all green. We've built everything. The the guy was paranoid. He was trying to hide from aerial surveillance. They were doing aerial drops in the pasture. Long story short, a year and a half later, we're on our way to Royston, Georgia, home of Ty Cobb, the baseball guy. And they've looked at a piece of property, and we saw a for sale by owner sign on the on the little gravel road that go to our place. I looked at my wife, and I said, do you think that could possibly be the our our place? And, she said, I don't know, but turn around.

Trace Embry [00:08:21]:
So we turned around, and there it was. For sale by owner. Magic marker sign. And, with 200 well, I I was I'll shorten this thing up to with $200 and a handshake, and I mean our last $200. Oh my word. We I asked this guy. I said I said, I do business in a handshake. We just hold this property for for a week.

Trace Embry [00:08:40]:
I was expecting God to so many things have happened already, miraculous. I was expecting another miracle. And he laughed in my face. He said, you know what? I got a partner in this. They were investors. We do business with Handshake. Yeah. We'll hold it.

Trace Embry [00:08:53]:
And, there were 5 people trying to get that property. 2 of them had cash.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:08:57]:
Wow.

Trace Embry [00:08:58]:
And, he took my last $200 in a Handshake. And a week later, I came back to to to seal the deal, and he says, how are you gonna do this? And I and I sheepishly so I I have no clue. I young man, I could have sold that property 5 times this week, blah blah blah blah. And I met our tail was way we're walking up to walk out. He said, what are you gonna well, by the way, what are you gonna do with that property? And I said, I don't know. I don't know. Something something to do with youth, and I just kept going. And and, he says, I'll tell you what.

Trace Embry [00:09:35]:
Hold on a second. And he calls us back in the office. He says, you go down to the bank. You see a guy named Jimmy. Tell me you wanna loan for that property. And again, I I I need to shorten the story. But the bottom line is we we acquired against all odds, at that particular point, it was a 60 acre farm with $200 and a handshake. And because that 1st week, I'm thinking, money's gonna come falling out of this out of the sky.

Trace Embry [00:10:04]:
You know? You know? It's just it didn't. It did not. And and when the guy still sold his property anyway, again, you have to read the book to get the details. But the following week, money did come falling out of the sky. I know. And it was just you knew it was God, and it's been that way ever since.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:10:24]:
That that's an amazing story. It made me cry. If you're listening and you're going, how does God do that in some people's life and not in others? It's it's really saying yes to something that scares you. Right? It's saying it's like the the scripture that's coming to mind is from Philippians 2 that says it's God who works in you to will and to do his good pleasure. His ways are above ours. His thoughts are above ours. As high as the heavens are above the earth. When we say yes, and and this is an old ladies no stuff broadcast, so I'm telling you this old lady knows.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:10:55]:
A lot of you know our story. We ended up living on a generator for 3 years in the middle of nowhere out of the San Francisco Bay area for God to chart the path ahead of us that ended up my husband's full time ministry that he has now. But but stepping out when it's not I slept on a sofa bed for 3 and a half years with no power, and we had 2 kids. And it was a nightmare, but yet it was exactly what God had. Did I cry a lot of tears? Yes. But God's ways and now I mean, that was 30 years ago. So you can look back and see his his purpose, his his reason for it. So for those that are listening today, having that courage to say yes in the small things.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:11:38]:
Like, you guys literally had to say yes to go to Bible college. That was the first step. God didn't give you chart and a path and say, oh, want you to say yes to this. You're gonna get trained for that. Then I'm gonna send you here. Then I'm gonna give you this, and I'm gonna open that door. Yeah. That's not how he works.

Trace Embry [00:11:50]:
No. Exactly. We were doing this about the same time because 1991 is when we moved to Georgia to go to Bible College. It was 1994, that we found the farm. And, you know, we had no running water, no electricity. We we had I need to know your wife. Oh, only. You know, she's a saint, man.

Trace Embry [00:12:09]:
I mean, she she's just people say we were crazy. One one of the guys that lived next to me we lived on the campus at the Cole Falls College. My wife made minimum wage, and I didn't make anything. I was, you know, I was all I could do to get through school. So we lived off of, you know, that and

Rhonda Stoppe [00:12:27]:
Cafeteria food.

Trace Embry [00:12:28]:
Yeah. Cafeteria food. But the guy moved in next to me, we'd become friends. And when I told them what we were doing and showed them, this Green Acres house looked like the Taj Mahal compared to what we were. And he says, you're out of your stake or mine. He he says, no way. God's not in this. Yeah.

Trace Embry [00:12:47]:
And I said, I think he is, Jim. I think he is in this. Anyway, he's now our our board member and, our biggest cheerleader. Just totally defied the odds. But it was people I think people need to realize that if you like you say, if you say yes to God, obey the light he gives you, he gives you more light, and go through the doors that he he opens up, and, he'll open more doors, and the vision becomes clear. And I like what Oswald Chambers says about vision. I write about this in my book. He says, you cannot attain to a vision.

Trace Embry [00:13:22]:
You must live in the inspiration of the vision until the vision accomplishes itself. That's the story of Shepherd's Hill. And and the thing about it is we we we wanna build you I'm a control freak. There's no doubt about that. I mean, this is so hard for me to just let things happen. To be led is to be driven. You know, you hear about the purpose driven life. I'm writing a book right now about the purpose led parent.

Trace Embry [00:13:47]:
And and so it it goes into the fundamentals of what faith is, what it isn't. And I had to learn all that, you know, going to bible college. And what I learned about faith is it's it's not blind faith, it's not presumption. Faith I think a good definition for faith is acting on what we have a reason to believe is true. Oh. You know, Doubting Thomas. He needed a reason to believe. And Jesus said, okay.

Trace Embry [00:14:15]:
You need a reason? Come here. Stick your hand in here. Right? And Jesus gives us reasons. I I don't believe by blind faith because my daddy believed or anything like that. I believe because of what Christ, has written down written down in in scripture and then what he's done in in me subjectively. Mhmm. And, sometimes I don't think people will realize the the work involved in in in the pursuit, of of a relationship with the Lord. And I'm not saying I've got it perfected.

Trace Embry [00:14:45]:
I'm I'm still still learning, but, I do feel that God has rewarded our efforts in what we're we're done. And it's manifested itself in in in kids and families from virtually every state in the union and 19 other countries have come to Shepherd's Hill Academy. So to live in our woods with no running water, no electricity, digitally unplugged for an entire year. These kids are digitally unplugged, and they learn to work. They learn what faith actually is. They see it in our staff. You know, we have 3 times as many staff members as we do kids that we serve. And it's to create the authoritative community model.

Trace Embry [00:15:22]:
But, it it it's it's just incredible to see these kids come in with the issues they come in with. And I think pretty much I don't think you can really grow up in 23, 2023 America and not be troubled. But to see how troubled they actually are Yeah. And to see them leaving here, they could work here. And and one we only had one that actually came back to work, but they could all work here. I mean and they go out, and it's kinda like multilevel marketing, you know. We've served 100 of families. That doesn't sound like a lot, but ultimately, we've served we've served maybe untold 1,000,000 because it's kinda like a multilevel marketing with such depth into these kids.

Trace Embry [00:16:09]:
That they're changing family members and friends, and their friends are changing friends. I get calls all the time from people I don't know don't know, never met. You don't know me, but I know so and so. They sent their kid there. That kid was a lost cause, and and it changed our family and the whole Antioch. You gotta keep in mind something. Jesus changed the whole world with 12 people and no Internet.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:16:28]:
Mhmm.

Trace Embry [00:16:29]:
Twelve people, no Internet. Changed the whole world. You know, our western calendars around, you know, the birth of Christ. And so, we're doing something I feel that is, at the first glance is just, you know, just kinda helping trouble kids, but it goes way beyond that. And our our mission statement has been from the beginning is to impact the culture and between the radio broadcast and what's going on through that multilevel marketing thing and and deep discipleship. I I think we're we're getting that handled.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:16:59]:
I love that. So let's just jump into a couple other questions before we get too far into this. So why does it seem that so many kids and families are so troubled and dysfunctional? You said you can't really live through 2023 and not be a dysfunctional kid. I think I think every one of us are raised in dysfunctional homes because sin is in our lives and we are sinful characters. So what would be your answer to that? Like, the Yeah.

Trace Embry [00:17:24]:
We're probably all a little dysfunctional as a matter of degree, and so it's kinda dysfunction control, or manage dysfunction management. Maybe spirit controlled. Yeah. Right. Exactly. And I think so to answer your question, I think, we we're just a society that has become devoid of living submitted to God's ecosystem. They're constantly, he's ordained a way that things just work. You know? The family being the most fundamental form of government.

Trace Embry [00:17:58]:
You know, the the freedom to speak what's on your mind, speak it respectful, dialogue, just the truth. I'm finding out that that truth is about 60% of mental health. Knowing the truth and then submitting your life to what's objectively true. And if you come to find out that you're a category 5 moron, then you need to work on on not being a category 5 moron. But you gotta come to the truth first so that you are. And that's why, you know, the the the 3 fundamental steps to to healing really is confession, admit with the situation, repentance, turn from that, and then forgiveness. You gotta forgive yourself and forgive everyone who've wronged, in in the past, and and it's a mutual thing. And we we just have strayed away from the very fundamentals of of reality in life.

Trace Embry [00:18:47]:
I mean, you can't figure out whether boys or girls or girls or boys, and, you know, it's like these kids are growing up in a society that is has broken down things at the very, you know, quantum level. And and when you build your your life on a false premise or or or a lie, then the the rest of any story can make sense. And these kids have bought bought into a lot of false narratives, and it's it's really causing a lot of confusion, headache, and other.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:19:18]:
And parents are scared to death. That I think is one of the things that I find so much now is that parents are like, what do I do? Like, the ones of younger ones, younger children. What do I do? And I know I speak to a lot of homeschooling families. Yeah. And I understand pulling your kids out to protect them from that teacher that starts saying, well, maybe maybe you're not a boy, you know, and putting those in their head. But not everybody can homeschool. Not everybody has the ability to, you know, stay home and, you know I live in California. It's a 2 income family, you know, community.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:19:53]:
Everywhere. Yeah. But the fear that is you know, God is not the author of fear. Satan is. So we we can, you know, work in this, like, fear based or we can say, okay. God's called me to this ministry. What are some things that parents can do? You and I talked when I was on your show about just what Internet is doing to our kids.

Trace Embry [00:20:15]:
Yeah. Well, the good thing about, being a believer is we know how the story ends. Mhmm. And we know that God, you know, close it clothes, you know, the lilies of the field and, you know, all that other stuff. And, I've I've discovered because, you know, we we can't pay our our team at Shepherd's Hill. What keeps people at Shepherd's Hill and our team on our team is is it it's a fantastic work working environment, and they get a lot of rewards from the things that they're doing. And believe this or not, a lot of them are living on one income. My daughter lives on one income.

Trace Embry [00:20:49]:
Her her husband's a teacher here. Mhmm. And and my my my son's wife, is a stay at home mom. And it's it's it's just like people who don't have more kids because they think they think they can afford them. I've discovered that the more kids you have, the easier things get. And that God will pull those fish and the loaves out of the basket for you. He'll make it work. Amen.

Trace Embry [00:21:12]:
It works, and he'll keep you sustained. But that requires that that degree of faith that I think very few people are are exercising in God today. And it's having an affront to God to not to to trust him, in in those in those simple things. We gotta get the the ABCs right, and he does promise to take care of our our basic needs. And and you talked about living on a generator. And and if you read our our book, you'll find out just how we live for many years actually. But people aren't willing to do that. They they and I'm not saying that that everyone has to do that, but I do think that it makes you stronger.

Trace Embry [00:21:49]:
It builds grit and resilience in you. Your kids see that, and it doesn't take as much. We don't need the the 3rd car and the boat and the 15 things that are other things that other people think they have to have. Mhmm. I mean, I like power and electricity and air conditioning as much as anybody, and but God's given that to me. You know? And and nobody goes begging bread at our place. Yeah. So as far as the fear and things, yeah, it can be it can be a little scary.

Trace Embry [00:22:25]:
There's no doubt about it. Living by faith is an adventure. Let's say let's put it that way. But God is faithful. And, you know, unless you choose to live on the street in America, you're probably not gonna live on the street in America.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:22:41]:
Mhmm. I agree. I'm writing that quote down because that was so good. Living by faith is an adventure, but God is faithful. And that's what I love about the stories of, people present day. That's why Titus 2 calls the older men the older women to teach the younger because I always say, you know, hashtag old ladies know stuff and old men know stuff. We've learned from our successes, from our failures. You brought up Oswald Chambers.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:11]:
I love Biddy Chambers' story. She

Trace Embry [00:23:13]:
Oh, yeah.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:14]:
You know, she was learning to be a stenographer. She wanted to work for the prime minister. And then when she married her husband, she quit her career pursuit and followed Oswald Chambers all over as he preached his messages. And what did she do? Hand wrote all of his messages. Yeah.

Trace Embry [00:23:32]:
Short hand.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:33]:
In shorthand, that's words. And Shorthand wrote all of his messages. He died suddenly. Wasn't it appendicitis? Was it appendicitis?

Trace Embry [00:23:40]:
43 years old.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:41]:
Say was he in Egypt? He was somewhere in a foreign country. She slept with her little girl. Yep. And now she's like, what am I gonna do? And then not many people know that book that my utmost for his highest was actually penned by Bitty Chambers' handwritten messages from her husband Yeah. At at the faith walk. It's god didn't tell her how you're gonna leave this career. You're gonna follow your husband. You're gonna end up end up a widow and a single mom, but hang on.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:24:07]:
I got a plan. It's that daily faith walk, and those stories give us courage.

Trace Embry [00:24:12]:
I see, my utmost for his highest is, darn close to 67th book of the bible. I've never met an individual who had a a a walk with the Lord like that guy had. I mean, it is just crazy, what that guy understood about God. And it's I read it every day. And I would suggest that your your your listeners and viewers read it every day because it does it it does add credibility to what's already written in scripture.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:24:48]:
And it's a devotional.

Trace Embry [00:24:50]:
Mhmm. Every day. One page, real simple, but deep.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:24:54]:
How do you spell utmost? Is it u t m o st?

Trace Embry [00:24:57]:
U t m o s t. Utmost.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:01]:
Utmost. I would say utmost, and I know that's not correct.

Trace Embry [00:25:04]:
There we go.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:04]:
I'm putting the name of it in in the show notes. So, having I mean, I could just talk to you all day about stories of people that stepped out in faith because that is where, you know, not only the men in scripture, the women in scripture, all of the stories that we could talk about, but the and and I it's interesting how this conversation is going about maybe someone's listening right now thinking I can't quit my job because we can't afford to. I can remember, when Steve and I, we do biblical marriage counseling with a couple and their life was falling apart and the kids were latchkey and they weren't supervised. And we suggested one of them quit their job, the mom made less money, and stay home with the children so that that would be rectified. And her response was, I can't. We have our house payment, our car payment. I worked hard for these things. I don't wanna give them up.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:51]:
And they ended up divorced, and their kids ended up going sideways. And they ended up not having all the things that they had because they ended up having to pay for 2 households. So oftentimes what we think are the things that we have to have and our kids have to have, how much more valuable for them to see us walk in faith? And then, you know, my kids are all grown. I think yours are. They watch our marriages flourish because we're not about just being happy. We're about being joy filled and followers. So speak to that. How did that influence your children just watching you guys make those decisions?

Trace Embry [00:26:26]:
I'm sorry.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:26:27]:
I don't know your notes, but this is so good.

Trace Embry [00:26:30]:
Yeah. No. No. No. That's fine. You know, I think for the jump and I think it's really important to start early. When you're growing up in a in a in a Christian family. If if you're serious, you've gotta teach train your kids and model before your kids to swim upstream against culture.

Trace Embry [00:26:50]:
You've gotta prepare them for suffering. Jesus said, if he promised anything, he promised in this life, you will have tribulation. Mhmm. And I've heard a pastor say one time, you know, for the Christian, this is the only hell we'll have to endure. For the young unbeliever, this is the only heaven you'll get to experience this life. And it's it's it it sounds counterintuitive, but, there was some young kids I I forget the Harris brothers wrote a book called Do Hard Things. Mhmm. And they were 18 years old when they wrote this book.

Trace Embry [00:27:31]:
And I I often give a compare contrast, video I play for my my, parents. And one is if you Google, sorta don't know nothing, sorta sorta don't know nothing, Google that video, and then goo Google a Harris brother video. One's a satire. Sorta don't know. It's a satire, but it's not far off of how things actually are. And it's like, which kid do you want? Do you want the kid who writes books at at 18 years old? Or do you want the kid who's sorta oh, no. Nothing is doing this. No.

Trace Embry [00:28:04]:
Yeah.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:28:04]:
It's yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Trace Embry [00:28:05]:
Have a conversation with him, you know, and it's just it's going absolutely nowhere, and and he's just brain dead. And because I could be here all day talking about what digital technology is doing to our our kids' brains and our adult brains as well, more more kids' brains. But,

Rhonda Stoppe [00:28:20]:
One of the things you mentioned to me in when I was on your show, and it really resonated, is how many girls are struggling with that porn addiction and how they you said just covering their ears and saying I can't unsee it. What I maybe tell me again what you said. Well,

Trace Embry [00:28:37]:
you know, I've, you know, I've I've I've walked in the cafeteria or, you know, someplace where the counselor might be in just in a random conversation, that subject comes up, and then, the story you you're talking about, I I walk in, capture it, and and and this girl is walking with her head on her head, head on her hands, crying, because she can't undo those images. They're there for for life. I mean, you know, I I'm not so holy as to tell you that I've never seen anything that is branded in my brain too. You know? That's the world we live in. That's the world that my generation has helped create for the the younger generation. So, we we owe them a way out.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:29:28]:
There you go.

Trace Embry [00:29:29]:
And and and the the thing that I'm trying to get across to parents is, look, They're not gonna give you these devices back. Though you might think the toothpaste is out of the tube, you're gonna start jamming it back in there and take the devices back and then apologize to them. Ask their forgiveness for for for what you've allowed into their system, into their hands that but you got caught off guard. We we were all a little bit victims of this new technology that we thought was novel and and and hip and cool, and it was pretty darn handy. You know? And but it should not be in the hand of any dependent minor, period. I mean, think about this, Rhonda. Even our corrupt government knows that you can't pull the lever legally pull the lever on a slot machine until you're 12 or 21 because of the addictive nature of that device. And yet we are carte blanche handing out these addictive adult toys to kids.

Trace Embry [00:30:32]:
You know, if if they're my my my kid's new. You're living you're while you're still at home, there is none of that. You if you wanna look at mine, we'll we'll we'll study this together. We'll research this together. Here's a laptop. Here's a there's a desktop. It's in the middle of the house. It turn comes on and off.

Trace Embry [00:30:46]:
It's filtered, blah blah blah. I know you can probably work around the filters, but guess what? You're not gonna have any access to it.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:30:52]:
Private. Mhmm.

Trace Embry [00:30:53]:
Yeah. Nothing in the room. No TV in the room. No nothing in the room. Yeah. And you people say, well, that's extreme. That's that's being no. That's not being extreme.

Trace Embry [00:31:04]:
What's what's extreme is the nonsense that's going out there to the point where we got kids who can't even tell what their biology is, and they're making up things, and and being exposed to things and engage in things that's changing them at the cellular level. It's changing their DNA. Mhmm. And the science is out on this. This is old news, and yet, so many people still don't know about it. But I I think the scriptures like, Colossians and Ephesians don't exasperate your children. Don't provoke them to anger. Now the number one reason that parents give their kids these devices is they don't want them ostracized.

Trace Embry [00:31:46]:
And if we can okay. You don't want them ostracized? So give them ostracization central, on, you know, social media, and you're gonna really mess them up. But the thing that really gets me you know, because I can give you a science argument. I can give you a theological argument. Jesus says himself, if you cause one of these little ones, believe in me, to stumble, it would be better to have a millstone hung around your neck and be thrown in the depths of the sea. And we are probably about 90% of Christian families deserve that. I mean, if you take that literally, you know, and I know Jesus was speaking figuratively, but the the the deeper moral message was was still there. And and and because we're such a biblically illiterate society today, we don't even we don't even understand what that actually means.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:32:36]:
Right.

Trace Embry [00:32:37]:
Jesus takes the corruption of kids pretty seriously. And, we've been corrupting, we're into our 2nd generation of of really messing up some kids to the point where, you know how alcoholism and this is just me, with a projection, but I'm gonna have doctor Nicholas Carderas on this Friday. We're gonna talk about this deeply. You know, they say alcoholism is inherited deal. Right? Well, if it is affecting the DNA, well, then it would be. It it would be inherited. And digital technology is every bit as addictive as cocaine and does the same thing as heroin in the brain. And I'm just wondering if we're passing on curses to the 3rd 4th generation down the line when we do this stuff.

Trace Embry [00:33:22]:
I I saw of all places, I saw a woman interviewed on CNN. And, she said, I realized that I was my son's dope dealer by giving me his. She's like, I'm probably living myself. I don't know why this seems to be a no brainer. But it's it's still something that people, I I just don't think you're gonna get this across in an elevator speech.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:33:49]:
Right.

Trace Embry [00:33:49]:
You know, maybe not even a 30 minute program. Mhmm. It takes a long form format and someone who's interested in hearing the deeper things about this issue to really connect the dots and say, look, I realized I gotta pick my poison here. Either get off the size, let my kid be off the size or create a Frankenstein monster. And and by the way, I don't know if people know this, but when Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein, the book in the 1800, the whole story was about, it was a metaphor type deal where technology, even the 1800 was getting to the point where they were fearful that technology what they were creating was gonna eat the creator of of well, you know, that's not gonna happen with telegraph probably, but it's happening now. It's happening now. And you cannot compare the smartphone, the screens, the keyboards with television because because the postman wrote, amusing ourselves to death in 19 eighties, what television was doing. My dad would call it the idiot box with 3 tools with 3 tools, the idiot box.

Trace Embry [00:35:02]:
And I remember thinking, you know what? I I do feel a little bit, slower as a result of, a 3 stooges marathon or or or whatever. You know? And I had to get up and change the channel if I wanted to so I

Rhonda Stoppe [00:35:20]:
Physically, had to do something. A little exercise.

Trace Embry [00:35:24]:
Change the outside and turn the antenna around a little bit. You know? And I did all of that. And and and it's just designed to to to addict you. You know, if I got time get this. I was speaking a message on on the liabilities of digital technology at a parent conference, and I had this guy come to me and he waited 30 minutes to talk to me while people stand on the line. And I heard a voice from outside the chapel. Come on, Joe. We gotta go.

Trace Embry [00:35:52]:
It's getting late. And it was late. He said, I'm not leaving. I talked to this guy. He comes up to me. He said, I want you to know that this weekend has I'm I'm leaving my profession. He says, you know what I do for a living? I said, no. He said, have you ever heard of dark UX? Have you ever heard of dark UX, Rhonda? No.

Trace Embry [00:36:08]:
I didn't either. I'm teaching this stuff. He says, dark UX, he says, I get paid tons of money to make this stuff addictive for kids. He said, my whole job is to is to make this stuff addictive so that we gather information and and and we we hook these kids in and, you know, he says, he the guy was from Britain, actually. He says, I'm going home, he says, and I'm resigning. He says, this is why my kid is at your program. I'm the cause of that. And I I said, sir, this is a divine appointment.

Trace Embry [00:36:44]:
I said, if you don't see god in this, man, you you don't see god in anything. I think he was kind of a marginal marginal Christian, but I think he did, you know, catch on after that.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:36:53]:
I love that. And I I feel like we have to understand we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities of darkness. And Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. The word says

Trace Embry [00:37:09]:
You froze up there.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:37:10]:
Oh, am I froze? I'm I'm not on my side. I'm I'm good. Can you see me?

Trace Embry [00:37:15]:
I see you now, but you're gonna get your car.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:37:18]:
Alright. Well, we'll just keep going. I have satellite Wi Fi, so sometimes it's I get you. Sometimes we live in the middle of nowhere.

Trace Embry [00:37:25]:
I get you.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:37:26]:
So my my, I lost my thought now. Where was I? Oh, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

Trace Embry [00:37:34]:
Oh, yeah.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:37:35]:
Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy the good plans that God has for our children, and we have to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. Our kids don't understand. I remember having a conversation with my son, Brandon, who is a musician, grew up to be a worship pastor. He's traveled with some amazing Christian worship, artists. But I remember when he was 15, he asked, why can't I listen to secular music? And my response, my husband and I was because the Jesus says, if you feast on that, that's what will come out of you. And we know you wanna grow up and be a worship pastor. We know that's the heart that you have. But if you listen to secular music, that's what you'll write, and you may end up going down a path that isn't God's best for you.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:38:20]:
Brandon said later, I was mad at you. I wanted to disagree with you, but the argument made sense, and I knew you were right. So sometimes they're gonna be mad at us. Sometimes they're gonna say, but all my friends, everybody else gets to.

Trace Embry [00:38:33]:
Right? Yeah. And we can't be codependent, man. We we cannot be, our there are listen. Listen. I've had to sacrifice, time of being, liked a whole lot by my by my kids. Particularly, my strong willed, child was my was my oldest daughter, but she she wasn't in a program. She now runs 1. And, you know, there were things that I wouldn't allow her to do, without a chaperone.

Trace Embry [00:39:09]:
I said, you wanna I I told my kids when tiny real small, you wanna date? Fine. Date. Just know you always have a chaperone, and it's gonna look a whole lot like me or mom. Yep. You know? And and Would you

Rhonda Stoppe [00:39:18]:
get fist bumpy right now?

Trace Embry [00:39:21]:
And every one of my kids every one of my kids, with the exception of my my my, middle son, who was his second date, they all married their first date, and they're all administered. Mhmm. And they they they all work here at Shepherd's Hill Academy. They all live here at Shepherd's Hill Academy. We're now 250 acre facility. And I tell you what, man. I feel like I'm living a dream. And and and and I get notes on my, steering wheel of my car, the seat of my desk.

Trace Embry [00:39:51]:
Dad, thanks for not letting me do this. Thanks for making me do that. Thanks for showing up at 2 o'clock in the morning to see if I was really where I was supposed to be when sleepovers were still okay. No. Even Josh McDowell said the day of sleepover is over.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:40:05]:
It's over. I agree

Trace Embry [00:40:06]:
with that. Yeah. But, dad, I I got this one one time. Dad, I thought there was a time in my life where I hated you, but I thank you that I could blame you for being the jerk that my kid my friends thought you were. And, now I don't think you're a jerk anymore. You know? Stuff like that. And so you get you you do have to kind of be okay with not being the most popular parent on the block or in the neighborhood or in the town or in the world, because you're gonna get those years back when that frontal lobe in the brain finally does fully develop and they start catching on the stage you've been planning for us, you know, 18, 20 years, or wherever it is. And it does come back, to bless you.

Trace Embry [00:40:47]:
But, there are sometimes you could do it alright, and you get a kid that just decides that they're gonna go this way or that way. And I tell all our parents, look. The only perfect parent that ever existed was God the father. Look what his first two kids did.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:41:03]:
Exactly.

Trace Embry [00:41:04]:
So don't think that just because you did it alright that you're out of the woods because Yeah. We live in a toxic, child molesting culture that has helped eat your kids for lunch. Mhmm. And, you know, you talked about the devil being the prince of the power, you know, prince of the power of the air or the airways, digital technology, man. You know, I'm not trying to read it in the end of this thing. But, I think it's funny how how, you know, I was thinking the other day, and I was just kinda random, but I was moving on my sheets at night, and I I see sparks in in my what what in the world did did people, you know, 2000 years ago, what do they think those sparks were? You know? Were they demons? Were they, you know, there's a spiritual message? You know? I don't know. I think it was something with electricity that, you know, maybe Paul didn't know anything what he was talking about necessarily, but the inspiration did. The prince and the power of the air.

Trace Embry [00:42:00]:
I don't know. And then, you know, you got Jobs starts the Apple, company and then and what's his logo? It's not just an apple. It's an apple with a bite out of it. Why the bite out of it? You know? And I

Rhonda Stoppe [00:42:11]:
I I must try to

Trace Embry [00:42:12]:
make a theology out of this. But I do I I do feel God does speak little messages to the the piss ants on the earth that we are, with this microcosm of of knowledge. He's got this ocean of knowledge. He's trying to speak to us, and he probably does several times a day in things that we could catch on to if we just wanted to.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:42:38]:
Right. And you mentioned earlier the word that we have to know God's word. We have to be washing our minds with the water of the word. God has called us to the mission field, the ministry of raising our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. He has called us to speak to them while we're walking by the way, while we're riding in the car. What does everybody do? Put on the TV? Put on the earbuds when they're commuting or, you know, running their kids to soccer? I had the best conversations with my kids in the car when we drove up a canyon. We didn't have radio. We didn't have cell service because it was a canyon with no Internet.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:43:14]:
And those conversations, sometimes, I didn't even enjoy, but there was nowhere to go.

Trace Embry [00:43:18]:
And you had each

Rhonda Stoppe [00:43:20]:
children. You had each other. You had each other. Yeah. So that, you know, I think that we can talk about the danger to our children with the Internet and the giving your kids you asked me on the other show, you know, do you think it's right or wrong for teenagers to have a cell phone? Their phone is now in the bathroom with them, and moms are laughing because their son is in there with their phone. And they know they're looking at porn, and they think, you know, boys will be boys. Though they can't put that away. When they get married Yeah.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:43:49]:
What's that?

Trace Embry [00:43:49]:
Or under the pillow at night.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:43:51]:
Or under the pillow. They cannot when they get married, even if it's a good godly man who's decided I am going to enjoy the marriage bed with my wife, I wrote a book called Real Life Romance, and there's a story of Chuck and Angie, and they're real honest about their story. He was young. His parents didn't understand the Internet. He got addicted to porn. When he got married, they were both virgins when they got married. But his craving to go back to the computer screen, he couldn't even figure out why he couldn't put it away. And he got help.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:44:21]:
He went through focus on the family, but we as parents have to understand. Our kids do not understand how this will affect them, not only now, but their entire lives, their futures.

Trace Embry [00:44:34]:
Absolutely. You know, I tell my my kids tell the kids here at Shepherd's Hill, you know, I'm I'm almost 67 years old. You're 15. I've been 15. You've never been 67. There's a good chance I could I could teach you something, you know, if you're willing to learn. But you know what? I'm not so naive. When I was 15, people were 60 7 telling me this.

Trace Embry [00:44:56]:
Yeah. You'll you'll blah blah blah. I get it. I understand. You may have to learn the hard way, but I do think that we have to we live a society. You know, because you you look at the, the Amish or you look at, Hasidic Jews, you know, these guys aren't compromising. I I mean, they'll walk around with those little curls in, you know, downtown New York, you know, the the little derbies on and all that stuff. Yeah.

Trace Embry [00:45:21]:
Well, they got their convictions and they're doing what what they're countercultural. Right. And the Amish have something called rumspringa, where they let them go nuts for a year. You know, just go ahead. Go sell your wild oats. About 80, 90% of those kids come back to the Amish community. Mhmm. You know? And I'm not suggesting that Rumspringa is what we need to do, but I do say this.

Trace Embry [00:45:49]:
If from the time they can talk, if you start laying the ground rules for what dating is gonna look like or or technology interactions or, you know, all this stuff that's so popular, but yet so damaging today in today's culture. You prepare them at an early age. You're not gonna look like such a freak show when they start wanting to to engage in some of these things. And it's not that you shouldn't allow them to engage in some of these things. I I think you should, but as as age appropriate, I want my kid to know how to operate a computer and I want my kid to have a phone. But, you know, there are people who parents don't realize this. There are phones out there without Internet capacity. And and and they can they they'll never have an Internet capacity.

Trace Embry [00:46:33]:
There are options. I've heard parents maybe they've told you the same thing. Oh, you just can't find phones without the Internet. I said, no. They make they make them now, and here they are. They give you a list. Mhmm. There are options.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:46:44]:
Yes. And that takes courage. And you're right. Sometimes your kids aren't gonna like you, but they'll love you for it after they see the value in it, and they'll be doing the exact same thing with their kids because you will pass that baton onto them.

Trace Embry [00:46:58]:
I I I think it's important to write that that when you say you can't have unfettered access to your own smartphone, then give them a 100 other things they can't have access to. Yeah. Whether whether it's, you know, learning a trade or sports or, or any number of activities, have them have them in your toolbox to say, here, have at it. Let's let's give you a go kart or let's, you know, or a boat or whatever, you know, scooter to run around the the house with, or a million and one other things that they can engage in. Because a lot of these kids, you know, they're human. They're gonna follow the path of least resistance, and we've pleasured our kids in the invisibility. You know, we ask one of the things that, my wife and I take every kid out for dinner. We call it the the last supper, the night before graduation.

Trace Embry [00:47:46]:
And we ask them this list of questions. One of the things we ask them is, what's one thing Shepherd's Hill can never stop doing? And you know what one one of the most popular things is? Never stop making us work with our hands. We never felt so alive. We never felt so human, so needed, so part of something. And, you know, if you live in a house, you know what? There's walls that need to be painted, there are floors that need to be scrubbed, toilets that need to be cleaned, dishes need to be washed, a million things. And parents don't want to lose that that friends that it's not a friendship, it's a codependency Yeah. They have with their their their their kids. They don't wanna lose that because they're there there's the deeper issue inside the parent, really, because a lot of this stuff really started in my my dad called my generation a bunch of candy tailed weaklings, you know.

Trace Embry [00:48:35]:
And and I I look at some of the things these kids are, you know, blowing the blues about today. I'm thinking, I I I don't understand how that's offensive. I don't understand how that's an issue. But make them do things, and the and the kids will tell you, the keyword is make us do it. Because we wouldn't even we wouldn't think of doing this if if you didn't make us do it. These kids build their own cabins in the woods. They build their own outhouses. They they help build things and repair things around campus.

Trace Embry [00:49:03]:
They feel part of something. They feel good about themselves because we were made for accomplishment as human beings. Not just to get good grades. Right? Right. And so many parents put such a, an undue emphasis on grades. I mean, man, if if grades were an issue, I I I'd I'd be working at McDonald's right now because I was just a avid student. You know? But when I started paying my own way and I had to work like a, you know, a a dog during the summers to pay my way through college because I I mean, we're so broke. Ethiopian family wanted to adopt our kids at at one point.

Trace Embry [00:49:38]:
You know? My my kids saw me go through what I had to go through to do this, and they helped out. I have my 4 year old son on the roof with me. Parents would people would say that that's abuse. No. It wasn't. I I I I wouldn't put him on anything that was gonna get him hurt. But he this thing David Farah got commanded a battleship when he was 12. Lewis Braille invented the system system for the blind when he was like 14.

Trace Embry [00:50:04]:
Thomas Jefferson ran a, a plantation, not that you wanna run a plantation, but he crawled into a farm at 12 years old. These kids can do things. We don't give them the opportunity to do things.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:50:16]:
And they don't know that they can do them because we have assigned to them childhood well into their twenties now instead of challenging them to do those things that are in front of them. And I let's just talk to a second for to single moms because I know there might be single moms that are listening saying, well, I don't have a strong father figure in the home. I don't have someone that can get my kid to do the work that needs to be done. What do I do? My husband was a youth pastor for 18 years. He's a senior pastor now. You have to be a part of a local church. You have to. Bible says do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together as such as the habit of some, and all the more as you see the day approaching, that is where they will see godly manhood lived out.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:51:00]:
That's where they will see hardworking men and women serving each other in the body of Christ. They're not self serving and trying to, you know, suck the life out of each other, but really genuinely serving one another in love. So my question to you as we're kind of wrapping up, we have a few minutes left. There's gonna be some that are like, man, I wish I could send my kids to Shepherd's Hill. Can't afford it. Don't know if it could ever happen for me. I know you can't take every child of every person. So if if we're in our homes and we're maybe not in a place where that troubled teen is already rebelling, and I tell a story about Adoniram Judson in my book, and we can talk about the prodigal.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:51:43]:
But but what about the ones that are just, like, just hitting adolescence, and you're like, wow. My kid has changed, my daughter, my son. Their respect for me has waned. They're pressuring me because they're being pressured by their friends. You know, what's the in all of your experience with interacting with these kids, yes, teaching them, be a part of the family, work hard alongside of us, but what is your, like, hope for these moms and dads?

Trace Embry [00:52:07]:
Well, you know, that to sound cliche or over spiritual, but the hope is in Jesus Christ. And and you've you've gotta just continually be on your knees before God, praying that these kids will, come to know him. And he is the way. He is the truth. He is the life. He's exactly what he claims to be. If you want I mean, I'll just call it living proof.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:52:35]:
Mhmm.

Trace Embry [00:52:35]:
I'll lay out in pretty explicit detail, almost page for page what the lord did and how I'm able to hear his voice and kinda what we did. And the lord may work different in different people, but he's working. And the problem is is we're so engrossed with things that glitter. And, you know, whether it's homes or cars or careers, or just entertainment. I I as I said, not only have our kids done it, but we as adults have entertained ourselves in the imbecility. And we've become this anhedonic generation to where, we're numb. We've we've blown out our pleasure centers in our brain, unless it's something that we're really, really interested in, we we don't even have the capacity hardly to do the things that we have to do. You know, I don't I don't I don't like, brushing my teeth all the time, or I don't like doing things that, you know, cooking meals or what, but they have to be done.

Trace Embry [00:53:37]:
Mhmm. And we are to find the joy in those those simple things. And we can get our kids to to do things that maybe they would have done on our own. Make them do it while they're young. They'll get used to you making them do it. And then we'll have a precedent set that if my dad said that that I have to do this, it must be important and maybe I will go to like it. And that I mean, that's worked for us and it's worked it's certainly working for these kids at Shepherd's Hill. And I don't have a clean slate with these kids at Shepherd's Hill.

Trace Embry [00:54:05]:
They they come in here. They're 1 foot in jail, 1 foot in the grave, and they're leaving here. They could run a church. I mean, they they they it just yeah. I've racer also, so I'm an adrenaline junkie. You know, please put out my motorcycle. You're being stupid as shit you're doing. I have never ever got a thrill at any speed, at any situation as I've gotten at at our graduation services.

Trace Embry [00:54:38]:
Okay. When I know what these kids were when they came in and to hear the way they talk and the hope that they have for their future, oh my gosh. It's like if if I could just video a few of those graduation services and stick those things on your left because the HIPAA laws, I can't. Yeah. Well Lowry would be would be 1. The the law is 1. Yeah. Yeah.

Trace Embry [00:55:05]:
Right.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:55:05]:
Oh, praise the Lord. And that comes back to you answering God's calling when you didn't even know what it was going to look like, like we talked about at the beginning of this. Living your comfortable life and the Lord tapping you on the shoulder. I don't know about you. I've never heard God's audible words in my ear. The scripture speaks to my heart, convicts me all the time, and makes me do things that I don't even wanna do, and yet it's irresistible that you can't say no to it. And then when you see God's results in our obedience and our faith walk, man, no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can conceive what God has in store for those who love him. And your life is definitely a testimony of that.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:55:46]:
So where can they, the listeners, watch some of your, videos? I I had put up earlier, you had given a message. What was it called? Living by Faith. No. That wasn't it. One of the messages that you shared. Oh, the liabilities of techno tech digital technology. You know, there's there's gotta be resources that you have where people can follow you and and gain more from you from your book, from your program, but do you have other things that they can follow also?

Trace Embry [00:56:14]:
Yeah. You know, I'm not much of a self promoter, I'm to my chagrin. But I would say there's a wealth of information and knowledge by just going to license to parent dotorg. We have a one minute daily. People tell us I I I'm gonna make a book just out of there's probably 1500 of those, kinda like an Oswald Chambers thing, but just one page daily on the on parenting, just a a a daily devotional just on parenting. But I love that. Made just out of those one minutes. People tell me that is the the the richest one minute that I can get.

Trace Embry [00:56:53]:
That in our 30 minute, program where I interview other guests like yourself and others, and we just dialogue, and we and we we we we try to, as I've said to you before, people have told me, you know, you we we gotta, give answers to the questions that parents are asking, and and I've never done that. I've always said, nope. Nope. Because parents aren't asking the right questions. Right. We wanna give them answers to the questions that that they should be asking and aren't. They don't know any better. And, and and I hate to say this, I don't mean I don't mean to whip up on parents.

Trace Embry [00:57:29]:
I honestly, I don't. But we are living in a biblically illiterate day. And if you don't know the directions, how are you gonna put the model car together? Right? Or do it right? Anyway Mhmm. And Scott's given us just this gift of his word in paper and ink that, you know, whether we whatever you think about the Bible, I can tell you that there's wonderful things in there, that the garden variety heathen could glean some great things out of. I have to believe it's God's word, and, it matches, with the spirit that he's put in me. And I don't know why there are the public seems to be okay with a person thinking, well, I got all the male parts, but I'm really a female. Right. And we go along with that.

Trace Embry [00:58:13]:
Mhmm. But I got this this make believe God that lives in me that causes me to do things I really don't wanna do my flesh doesn't wanna do, but I I do them anyway because I know they're the right thing. What what spirit is that? Is that a is that is that the devil? No. No. No. That's not the devil. I guarantee it. That's not the devil that's causing me to call my my neighbors myself and caused me to do unto others that I would have them do.

Trace Embry [00:58:32]:
That that's the holy spirit. You need to thank god that there is a holy spirit out there, and there's still a remnant of Americans who who who will live by that because that's that's that's the only reason God isn't doing that to America right now.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:58:45]:
Mhmm. Amen. And and the key is fellowshipping with others who are washing their minds with truth, who are raising their children with a biblical worldview. If your kid is hanging out with a bunch of kids who have their freedom on social media, can wear what they want, can do what they want, honestly, just roaming the streets of your town without any supervision, those those meth dealers, they're after your junior high kids. Your junior high boy on his skateboard, you leave him out there with no protection.

Trace Embry [00:59:14]:
Yeah.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:59:14]:
That's that's where you have to be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. And I believe telling your sons and your daughters, training them, this you don't even know what is after you, so we're here to protect you. And we'll find friends for you that have the same parents that were gonna help us in that same, worldview.

Trace Embry [00:59:33]:
And if if if you, give your child unfettered access to his or her own smartphone, you're bringing that wicked world and those wicked people in not into your home, but into your child's hip pocket. And 247, 365. And that is a a a brain rape that should not be happening in what used to be a great nation. And, a lot of people say, well, we're still living in the greatest nation. Well, maybe we are, maybe we aren't, but it's not as great as we once were in many ways. In some ways, we're better, but I wouldn't I don't I don't think it's been a fair trade off for Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Trace Embry [01:00:13]:
The things that we've had to trade to to get where we're at, conveniences and everything. There's there is there is benefit in struggle and read Romans 5, 3, and 4. And if if I if I got a minute, I would I would love to be able to share, something about Romans 5, 3, and 4. We'll close it now. We had a Ugandan pastor that came to our to to, Shepherd's Hill to speak to our kids. And I he said, I gotta see you know, I came all way over here. I gotta see where your kids are living. And I showed them where our kids were living.

Trace Embry [01:00:42]:
It's 3rd world. Right? No running water, no electricity, outhouses. Take everything away from the kids. And you're well, at home, they're selling, you know, you know, punching holes in the walls. This guy's blown away. He's like, our people are trying to get out of these conditions. You're using it for therapy. You know, could you explain that to me and it's broken? Yeah.

Trace Embry [01:01:01]:
How explain that to me, brother. You know? And I'm like, okay. So the answer is found in Romans 5 534. Well, explain that. What does that say? I I said, well, first of all, you need to know that teen suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers in America. And you gotta ask yourself, what's going on there in the quote, unquote richest nation on the planet? What's going on there? And the number one reason kids are giving for, for, attempting suicide in America is they say they have no hope. Now that's weird. Okay? No hope.

Trace Embry [01:01:34]:
The American dream, which has become now the American nightmare. But just turn that scripture around. Let's let's let's go the right way for it. Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, and character produces hope. Now back that scripture up line upon line, our kids are committing suicide because they have no hope. They have no hope because they have no character. They've never developed for any perseverance. Mhmm.

Trace Embry [01:01:58]:
When you go through perseverance, you first have to struggle for something. And and we don't allow our kids to struggle for anything anymore. They cannot feel good about themselves or part of something or self secure, you know, without a little bit of struggle.

Rhonda Stoppe [01:02:15]:
That's excellent. I'm gonna put those up there. Hope, character, and perseverance. And you're right. We think having our kids not have to struggle for anything, giving them a better life than we had, giving them all the things we never got. And I mean, think of the hardworking parents that had to raise hardworking children. And now hard work seems like an affront to a child that has to do that. So that's really good advice.

Rhonda Stoppe [01:02:43]:
If you haven't had a chance to look up Romans 5:3:4, look that up. Would you trace close us in a word of prayer for all of these, hope filled parents, mostly moms that are watching old knit ladies know stuff and wanting to know how to keep my teen from becoming a troubled teen and some decisions that I can make to set them on the right path? So if you could close this, I would

Trace Embry [01:03:08]:
appreciate it. Lord god, I I pray right now for the the the parents are listening, that they would know this. A couple things actually. That they would know, lord, that because their child is smiling and laughing, that's not an indication of their success as a parent. Amen. The Lord says even laughter, the heart may ache. And things that kids are are exposed to today, Lord, their hearts are aching. Just look at some of the comedians out there.

Trace Embry [01:03:40]:
Troubled past that they have, and they're they're using laughter as a as a crutch. Lord, yeah, another thing that parents say a lot is my kids never gonna have to go through what I went through. Lord, give parents the the wisdom to allow their kids to go through maybe a little bit of what they went through, or help them to come to know you.

Rhonda Stoppe [01:04:07]:
Mhmm. Yes.

Trace Embry [01:04:08]:
Give parents the courage to help their child swim upstream, to not be so easily offended, to, to have some grit, to show the world, lord, that that you've empowered your people to endure and to exercise joy because we know that the devil's trying to steal not our happiness, but our joy. Joy transcends happiness. Help our parents to know and help our kids to know that happiness is contingent upon happenings, but we can't control those happenings. Joy transcends that, lord. I pray, lord, that you would, teach our parents to help our kids to experience the kingdom of God, righteousness, peace, and joy. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Rhonda Stoppe [01:04:59]:
Amen. Thanks so much. This has been a great discussion. I really appreciate your time.

Trace Embry [01:05:03]:
Absolutely. God bless you. Thanks for what you do.