Ordinary Woman - Extraordinary Legacy

Ordinary Woman - Extraordinary Legacy (35 minutes) 

Listen and be inspired as Rhonda shares this personal message of hope to leave an extraordinary legacy. 

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"This podcast is for the purpose of mentoring only and is not a replacement for therapy. We suggest you seek out the help of a trained biblical counselor for help with your specific situation.”

Transcript

Rhonda Stoppe [00:00:00]:

So today, we're gonna talk about how ordinary women live extraordinary lives. And one of the stories when I was thinking about an ordinary woman that I wanted to share with you, we had, Thanksgiving at our my mother in law's house every year. My mom my husband's mom was, hospitality was her thing. She I've I've never seen it lived out before. And watching her open her home, watching her invite there was always someone else at our table for Thanksgiving dinner because she would always open her home to someone at church that didn't have a place to go, and she cooked. She was German. Her first language was German, and she was a really good cook. I'm not a good cook.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:00:44]:

Steve's still the cook in our family, but she would make these amazing, you know, mashed potatoes and gravy to die for, and the pies and all the things that she would cook was fabulous. And when my my sister-in-law and I married her sons, she had 2 sons, no daughters, we jumped in and tried to learn from her what we could. But honestly, I was just more like, mom did it. I'm just here. I'm just here for the show. And as time went on, Steve's mom started messing up her recipes. She started not making the you know, adding him, that 1 ingredient or whatever, and it would make her meals turn out. The the dessert failed or something was wrong.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:01:24]:

And she always loved to play games. Like, let's play a game. Let's play a game. And all of a sudden, she didn't wanna play the games. She wanted to watch us play the games. I'm not a big game player, but she was, and so we her things, but she stopped playing and started watching. And so over a time, we started noticing that she was forgetting. And Steve's mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in her late mid fifties, pretty young.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:01:50]:

Yeah. And, this woman was just such a delight. Her story was filled with people that she had told about Jesus, that she had brought to church or or told them about the Lord and people that she had led to Christ. She was the piano player. Actually, I think she might have played the organ for her church. Steve plays the piano today because his mom insisted that he take piano lessons from the time that he was 5 years old. And his dad told him, you can't, quit piano until you can play through the hymnal, because Steve wanted to quit piano to play football. And Steve's dad said, that's fine.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:02:24]:

Just play through the hymnal, and then you can quit, which that takes a long time, but by the time Steve figured out how to play through the hymnal, he was hooked and he didn't wanna quit piano. But this woman couldn't play the piano anymore, and she couldn't play the organ anymore. And she used to just play for the pleasure of playing, and it was a hard thing to watch. And I, I remember 1, Thanksgiving. They had moved up. We live on a ranch outside of Patterson, and they lived in San Jose. And they had to sell their stuff, and they had to move on to our ranch so that his dad could take care of, Eleanor. He called her Ellie.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:02:57]:

And their love story is in, it's in I just read it. It's in no. It's in The Marriage Mentor, my other book. And I had just read it. I'm doing a marriage class for some women young married women at our church, and we just read Bill and Eleanor's love story. But, Eleanor, one day, when we were sitting down for dinner, they had moved on to our property. So I was trying to make the meal for Freddie, and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law had moved out of state. So it was just our small family and Steve's parents, and I had worked really hard to get a meal on and how how many of you is it just really hard to get it all done at the same time? Like, okay.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:03:32]:

We're gonna have mashed potatoes and then later, we'll have the turkey, but, you know, just hang on. We're gonna eat it in the shift. No. Like, the the musical interlude of getting all of it on the table at the same time. You, if your mom or grandma's doing that and you're not a cook, celebrate that because let me tell you, that's a big deal. So I finally got it all on the table at the same time, him, and I was grieving that Eleanor wasn't who she used to be. She was just sitting here, and she wasn't cooking with us and doing all the things. And I remember feeling really sad you, that she wasn't herself anymore.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:04:03]:

And then I sat down at the table with all the food on at the same time, and my kids were pretty little at the time, and I sat there so they weren't old enough to help. And I got all the spread, and Steve's dad looked around and he said, what? No gravy? And I burst into tears. You know what I'm saying? And it was numb number 1, I don't know how to make gravy. But it was also just a reminder of the the loss, the pain and then also feeling kinda not appreciated for all the work I had just done for the the other stuff. Right? I feel like this is making a lot of clicky sounds. Is that better? K. K. Good.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:04:38]:

And so but while Eleanor they had moved on our property, my husband had to go to work, and my father-in-law needed a break from time to time. So Eleanor would come and sit at my house while he went to town or whatever. We're about 45 minutes from town, and I remember that she started getting, agitated with my kids. And she started not being the she loved me. I was her daughter she never had. She loved my laugh. My laugh is pretty loud. And all of a sudden, she hated my laugh, and she would get mad when I would laugh.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:05:12]:

And it was maybe some of you lived through this. It's excruciating, it was very painful to watch this woman who had this extraordinary faith and had lived such a wonderful, joy filled life kind him not be herself anymore. And one of the last conversations that I had with Eleanor, she was telling me about about a woman that she had led to Christ. She's I just led this woman to go to the lord, and we need to help her. And I'm like, okay. You know, I'm knowing she's not going anywhere, and she's not talking to anybody. I'm thinking she's imagined this. So I'm like, okay.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:05:44]:

We'll help her. Alright. But what I loved knowing about Eleanor was even when she was becoming not Eleanor anymore, her love for the savior and her zeal to tell people about his love for them never left her. And she was an ordinary woman, but in my eyes, the woman was extraordinary. In a study done by SCOPE, 60% of women surveyed felt that their accomplishments were inadequate when they compared themselves to other women, most women long for a life of purpose, but they struggle with knowing how to achieve that goal. You, what would it look like for you to live an extraordinary life? What is the the dream you have, the things that you imagine if you had a life filled with purpose and with passion? You, if Jesus said that he came to give us an abundant life, which means an extraordinary life, then then what does that look like, and how how can we achieve it? Contrary to the little voice in your head, you can be I'm sorry. Let me say that again. Contrary to the little voice in your head that whispers god can't use an ordinary woman like you, I know, I've seen, you, god uses ordinary women to accomplish extraordinary plans.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:07:03]:

And today, we're gonna unpack 3 principles to help you achieve that goal. The first point is remember that Christ is in you. In Christ, if you have surrendered your heart to Jesus as your lord and savior, he promises to fill you with his holy spirit. On life's journey, you are never alone, Colossians 127 says that Christ in you is your hope of glory. And Jesus promises never to leave you or forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 promises, for Jesus said, I will never leave you or forsake you. You know, we're living in a very lonely time. Did you know that? Statistics prove loneliness is is just rampant, which is interesting because we're the most connected culture that we've ever been with with social media, with the freedoms we have to gather and get together with people, we are lonely.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:08:01]:

You know why that is? Because we long to be known for for who we really are. And so many of us are putting out who we want people to think we are on social media. You know, your house. You don't take a picture when your house is, like, crazy behind you. You wait until your house looks great, and then you put a photo. Or that meal that you made that is Pinterest worthy, and you put a picture of you serving this amazing dinner, and I'm thinking, you know, I my kids had cereal again for dinner, and I'm feeling not as measured up to your expectations. But on that day that I do make an amazing meal, I'm gonna post it and show you what a great cook I am, or maybe you make, like, little dresses for your kids out of, you know, pillowcases. And maybe you have an Etsy store selling those pillowcases that you make out of, you know, or those dresses you make out of pillowcases.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:08:44]:

And I'm like, I'm barely able to get the laundry done. And if my kids sleep in the same clothes that they go to town in, I'm kinda hoping nobody will notice. When we live up in Del Puerto Canyon, so we drive 40 minutes down the windy road. And when my kids were little, Kayla, who was born up there, would get super carsick. And so she would throw up if I fed her breakfast before who made it to town, so I kept her in her little zip up jambos, and I fed her dry Cheerios on the drive down because milk was kryptonite. If she drank milk with cereal, it was coming up. And so when I would get her to the nursery, my girlfriend, Shelley, who we're still friends now, she said it used to crack me up because I would take Kayla into Sunday little nursery, and I would have her dress you know, this is her dress that she can wear now, and my friend would unzip her little jambos and all the Cheerios would come out of jammies and and Shelley was really kind, she would change her diaper and she would put her clothes on her for church as I went off to my Sunday school class. How many of you have friends that you've had friends for so long? 30 plus years of friendship.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:09:41]:

Right? And let me just tell you something. If you haven't made friends with old ladies, the name of my CAST is old ladies know stuff because old ladies know stuff, and we have stories to tell. And Shelley is one of those friends that is now, doing so much in our church to mentor a lot of young women. But think about what I'm saying here. If Christ is in you, the hope of glory, if you've been raised to know that, if you you. That your whole life. You're like, yeah. I get it.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:10:08]:

I'm saved, and I know that I am. I'm so glad I know that I am. Whatever. Big deal. No. No. No. No.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:10:12]:

Stop it. If if the spirit of the most high god indwells you because on one day, at one point in time in history, you realized you were a sinner, you, you realized you had no hope to save yourself. You realized that you could not do enough good works where your good deeds will out you, weigh your bad. That is a lie straight from the pit of hell. Your good deeds will never outweigh your bad. And if you think that when you die and you stand her god that he's gonna weigh and let you come to heaven because you weren't so bad, Satan's lying to you. Because the Bible says that all of our just works her as filthy rags. Now when my kids were little, I was kind of a, germaphobe.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:10:51]:

You know what I'm talking about? Like, Brandon, when he was learning to potty train, Steve took him to the bathroom one time. And, Brandon's the worship pastor at Big Belly Grace now, by the way. So you can know the story. If you see him, you can share it with him. And and Steve took him potty. And okay. Now when you train little boys you to go potty, if they stand at the toilet, their height their bobo is gonna touch that germ infested. Right? So I get anxiety about taking kids potty.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:11:16]:

So she said, I'll take them, and I'm like, okay. Okay. Well, don't let them touch anything. You. So Brandon goes in there, and he goes, daddy, do not touch anything or you will die. And so Steve comes out, and he's like, what are you what are you telling these kids, I'm like, whatever I have to to keep them all alive. And one day, I was in the bathroom, and I was going to the restroom, and I had Kayla and Brandon. They were 2 years apart.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:11:36]:

And you. Trying to use the restroom because you don't want anyone to steal your kids, so they have to be in the public restroom with you, but you're trying to be private while you're doing your business, and and and you don't want them to touch anything. So I'm like, stand like Peter Pan. So they would stand like Peter Pan. And one day, Brandon, who's 2 years older than his little sister, looked at her and went, I'm not sound like Peter Pan anymore. And I'm, like, trying to go to the bathroom, trying to be private. And I'm like, oh, dude. Why not? And he goes, I'm a snail like Superman.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:11:58]:

Like, yeah, dude. You're Superman. So while I'm talking to Brandon about being Superman, little is Kayla, stop standing like Peter Pan, and she reaches over and she opens the mailbox. Audible gasp. No. Don't open that. So full of germs. Right? So full of disgusting germs.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:12:19]:

You well, guess what? The bible says that all our righteous works are as filthy rags. And you know what those rags are in the bible? Menstrual rags, dirty tampons. Our righteous works in god's eyes measure up to menstrual rags. There is none righteous, no, not one. So if we look in the mirror and we think I'm doing, I'm good enough, you, there is no good enough. There is either perfect, which means you are without sin from birth, or you're her, a sinner in need of God's grace. And there is no hope for anyone who rejects salvation because Jesus said, I am the way. I am the truth.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:13:02]:

I am the life. No one comes to the father but by me. So I don't know where you're at today spiritually, but that, if you do not know my savior, if you do not want, if you do, if you think you need to know more about that. Please come talk to me. Come talk to 1 of the women in leadership here. Because if you leave today without knowing Christ, then you're just some lady that ate some tacos and you went home unchanged, and that's not the goal of today. But if you have a relationship with Jesus, if you can remember a point in time where you surrender to him as your savior and Lord, if you need to examine yourself to see if you're of the faith, you are confident that you Fident that you have a relationship with Jesus Christ because you're living and walking in obedience to him. You're not having faith on a prayer that you prayed one day that made you cry but you no longer live in obedience to Lord, your faith is in Christ in me, the hope of glory, and I am a new creation.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:13:55]:

Old things are passed you, I have become new in Christ. And if that's you, that's extraordinary. If you you are filled with the spirit of the king of kings, the most high god, please do not be apathetic about that. You, that makes you an extraordinary woman. You know what harms the testimony of the church in this world? We're mediocre about that. We go, yeah. I'm going to heaven when I die. Satan goes, yeah.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:14:32]:

Just stay right there, girl. Just stay right you, no one's gonna listen to your testimony. Your kids aren't gonna want the Jesus that you're raising them to tell them that it's who you should serve because you're not passionate about it. Steve was in youth ministry for 18 years. The number one thing that drives our kids away from the church is hypocrisy in the Christian home. Pretending, going to church, smiling, saying Jesus loves you, sister, getting in the car and giving your husband the silent treatment you or talking about you didn't like what the sermon was or the pastor wore, how they how their kids acted, your kids hear that. And your kids think you, whatever they see in your world is normal for everyone else's world. So if they see you be a gossip about people that Jesus said, you, they'll know you're my disciples by your love for one another, then they're pretty sure everyone's getting in their car and gossiping too.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:15:21]:

Because that's the normal you've created for them. And and those kids, 75% of them walk away from the church and they never come back after they graduate high school. And the number one reason is hypocrisy in their Christian home. There's a lot at stake. The world is seducing them away. And if we're not letting our light shine in our home, you, if we're not walking in this unbelievable, blown away that the king of kings knows my name I love David. Said, who am I, oh god, that you should know my name? And what is my family you have brought me this far. Ladies, what is my family? That my kids wanna go to Great Wolf Lodge with me? That my grandkids wanna be together and spin that do slumber parties at nana and papa's house, I don't come from that.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:16:08]:

I come from a long line of self, medicating women. In fact, my sister passed away 2 years ago from an overdose from prescription drugs. Multi millionaire film producer, not Skid Row drug addict, the the what do you call it? The respectable drug addict, and it killed her. And I know that there's no reason that I shouldn't be just like that except for Christ in me, the hope of who would you be without Christ? On your worst day, every 28 days when it's a little bit crazy in your body. When you're unbridled, you, that's who you are on steroids without Christ. Let that bring you to your knees. Let that humble you and cause you to be so grateful you, that the lord knew your name, and he captured your heart for Jesus. And be in awe of your salvation.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:16:55]:

That makes you an extraordinary woman. We're gonna your ordinary woman. We're gonna talk just a few minutes about 1 extraordinary, maybe 2 if we get time, extraordinary woman. Since we're coming up on the holidays, let's talk about Mary. Mary's story is in Luke 1 26 through 35. I'm doing a 1 hour message in 30 minutes, so hang with me, people. You so you can look that up, but we all know Mary's story. Right? She was an ordinary girl engaged to her boyfriend, Joe.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:17:28]:

And they were in love. And they were gonna get married. And on an ordinary day, Gabriel shows up and says, hey. You're gonna be the mother of the Christ child. And I love Mary's response because she's like, how can that be? I have not known a man. And I like how the lord just you know, she was probably 14 or 15 years old. That's how young girls were when they got married back then. As soon as a started their period.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:17:57]:

Their dads married them off. So she was betrothed, and she was getting married. She was a teen girl. And do you know when god gets a hold of a teenager's heart, there's no there's no stopping them. And after she asks all of the questions, I love that she comes to a place where she just trusts the Lord. God didn't tell her parents. God didn't tell Joe. Think about that.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:18:23]:

What was what was she saying yes to? She was saying yes to people thinking that she was an adulterous woman, which culturally meant that she could be stoned to death for her adultery, she was saying yes to Joseph not believing her possibly and losing the one that she loved. She was saying yes to maybe her parents never would believe her. But finally, she said yes. 1st Corinthians 127 says, god chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise. God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong. Some of you feel weak. Some of you feel like, you're foolish compared to some of the theologians that are out there, some of the other people that are out there, and I could never be I don't know how to share the gospel with anybody because I don't know what to say. You, if I started talking, if they started asking me questions, I wouldn't know how to answer them.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:19:19]:

I'll let somebody else do that. But Mary had courage to say yes when god invited her to join him in his work. And, you know, Jesus said, my father is always at work. Jesus goes and joins the father where she see he sees him working. And that's what he calls us to do. Mary was humble. So here's some points under Mary because I know I've been talking all over the place. Number 1, she was an ordinary teen.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:19:43]:

Number 2, she had courage. Number 3, she was humble. Luke 138, she said, behold, I am the servant of the Lord, let it be to me according to your word. And then finally, when she you has settled the matter. I'm going to obey the lord. She prays her prayer that so many of us know. My soul magnifies the lord. My my spirit rejoices in god, my savior, for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:20:13]:

And there's a whole long prayer that that's just a portion of it. Number 4 is Mary had faith to believe. Luke 145 says, blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment you of what's spoken to her from the lord, she believed. When we get saved, we just believe and it's counted unto us for righteousness. And and that belief John 316, god so loved the world that he gave his only godson, that whosoever in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. And we go, believe. Yay. Go to heaven.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:20:42]:

It's like believing in Santa. Her, that word believe is a covenant term. It is a one point in time action with a continued result. It is giving your whole self to that belief. Remember the rich young ruler who came to Jesus and said, what do I have to do to be saved? And what did Jesus tell him? Oh, you believe I'm messiah? You, good. Go live your life. Enjoy your money. I'll see you in heaven because you believe.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:21:05]:

No. He did not say that to him. He said, Jesus looked into his heart and knew what his idolatry was, his stuff. He idolized his treasures. It gave him his significance. It gave him it made him extraordinary. It made him a man of worth, a man of reputation. And Jesus said, sell it all, give it away, and follow me.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:21:29]:

To be a true believer is to forsake all, to follow Christ. I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back. No turning back. Are you all in, or are you standing in the gap? Have 1 foot in the world and 1 foot following Christ. If that's you, then you're lukewarm and God you kinda make God wanna vomit. Because he says, I'll spew you out of my mouth to the lukewarm church. And if you're just okay with being a Christian, okay with going to heaven when you die, you are missing the extraordinary life God's calling you to live.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:22:06]:

Every woman can be an extra can live an extraordinary life when you remember that Christ is in you. The next point is remember that Christ has a plan for you. We all know Jeremiah 29/11. Right? We love that because it's kind of a promise Thomas said, we wanna believe. I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plan to give you a hope and a future. Yay, God. Here I go. He goes, stop, Skippy.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:22:28]:

I wasn't done talking. He continues chapter 29, 12, and 12 and 13. He says, for if you seek me, you will find me. If you search for me with your whole heart, I will be found of you, declares the lord, and then I will set you free from your captivity. Tivity, what captivates you today? Maybe it's just the captivity of activity. Maybe it's just you work all the time. Maybe it's just fill in the blank. But you're in bondage to what's captivating you, and the way to get to the place of experiencing the extraordinary purpose that god has for your life, the plans he has for you, is to seek him, search for him and find him.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:17]:

He promises he will be found of you if you search for him with your whole heart. I will be found of you declares the lord. That's a promise. We're busy scrolling. We're busy watching, streaming. We're busy. We're busy. And god's like, be still.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:41]:

Know me. I wanna show you great and mighty things about myself. He doesn't want us to dream up what we'll do for god and then go do it. He goes, no. No. No. Seek me. Pursue me.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:55]:

Love me with your whole heart. And then I can trust you with the plans that I have for you, to prosper you and not to harm you. Because if we're not seeking him and then he gives us a plan, we're gonna fall on our face if we're not walking near to him, we're gonna hurt the name of our savior. We're gonna become prideful by our accomplishments, or we're gonna become offended because nobody notices how hard I work, or we're gonna fill in the blank. It's gonna hurt the name of our savior. God can't trust us to you, what Ephesians 2 10 says, he saved us unto good works that he ordained in advance that we should walk in them. That's before the foundations of the world. He knew you would be his.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:24:38]:

You, he knew what he wanted to do in and through your life, but he's gotta trust you with that. And just like Mary was humble and obedient, god's asking us to be humble and obedient, and then he can entrust us with the plans that he has for our lives. So number 1 was remember that Christ is in you. Number 2 is remember that Christ has a plan for you. And let's really quick look at Elizabeth. So so Mary says yes. Joe says no. And the angel had told Mary, your cousin Elizabeth is also pregnant.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:16]:

And Mary, Elizabeth was older, couldn't get pregnant. Her husband, if you don't know the story, went into the temple. He becomes mute when he comes out, and he says my son you know, my wife's gonna be pregnant, all the things. Anyway, I I'm talking yes, I know, I'm sorry. But Elizabeth gets pregnant as an older woman with John the Baptist, Jesus' cousin, who would also be the forerunner of Christ, god called Elizabeth, the ordinary woman that was married to a priest. I'm a pastor's wife. I have a book out called I Sleep With A Pastor. If you did not know this, the only person that can minister to your minister is your pastor's wife.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:53]:

So when you ask her what does she do, does she work in the nursery? Does she sing in the choir? Does she do all the things? I always say I sleep with the pastor, and I make sure he preaches in clean socks and underwear. And half the time he does his own underwear these days. And I'm traveling and he's, like, doing his own laundry. I'm like, so sorry. Elizabeth's ordinary life became extraordinary because God put John the Baptist in her womb. But this is the cool part. Nobody believed Mary, so she went to see her older cousin, because old ladies know stuff. And it the bible tells us that when she walked in, that the baby in Elizabeth's womb left within her.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:26:34]:

Right? And Elizabeth, right away, she's like, oh, how is it that the mother of our lord? How is it that the mother of our lord is here? So this older woman affirmed Mary in which she knew she had experienced when the angel Gabriel told her she was going to bear the the Christ child. And you know she hung out with her cousin for, like, 3 months. She didn't leave till right about the time that Elizabeth was ready to give birth to John the Baptist. So So here's these 2 women. If you've ever been pregnant for the 1st time, it's fun to be pregnant with friends that are going through the same thing or just a head little bit ahead of you. You're like, oh, yeah. Yeah. That that heartburn.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:27:12]:

Yeah. I've had it. You is try this, it doesn't work, but try it. And they hung out. And Elizabeth would have poured courage into the mother of Jesus. An ordinary woman was extraordinary because she was an encourager. For some of you, that's your gift. Some of you, encouragement is what god has called you to be, an encourager, an uplifter with your words.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:27:38]:

Just show up. Sometimes just making sure you're at church come hell or high water. If you're still just watching online at home after COVID and you're not coming in because it's easier to have your coffee and drink your coffee and eat your Captain Crunch and watch church in your jambos. You're a consumer, and that's not what God calls us to. He calls us to serve in the body of Christ, to use our spiritual gifts to serve one another. And if you're just watching it online, it's time to go back to church. I know it's easier to watch at home on in online. And there are some of you that need to, that are sick, they're caring for someone who has to stay home.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:28:19]:

I am not talking to you. I'm so grateful that we have streaming. And you know what else I think? After we're all raptured out of here, how cool is it gonna be when the people that were not raptured out or googling will happen? And every tiny little church on planet Earth that streamed their services, they can watch those messages again ain't that cool? That's pretty cool. Because what what others meant for evil, god will use for good. What a blessing when the lord sends Elizabeth into our lives, when I was a young mom and a new wife new wife. I was married before I was pregnant. It was filling the blank. But when I was, I was married and a young mom, I knew I wasn't the wife life I wanted to be, I knew I wasn't the mom I meant to be.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:29:04]:

I was gonna be the fun mom. Remember her? You remember? And I was exhausted, and my child had colic, and I was overwhelmed. And I remember I come from a long line of broken marriages simply because of unmet expectations. Do you know, that's the thing that'll kill your marriage. And that Steve and I talked about that in our book, The Marriage Mentor, Becoming the Couple You Long to Be. Because unmet expectations will undermine the fiber of your love for each other, and here I was doing that to my husband. And I knew I needed help because you go back to what you're familiar with. You.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:29:37]:

And Steve and I do premarital counseling. We always take them through what is your family of origin? What does it look like? Because that's your normal, and that's his normal. You, and you get to create your new normal in a family to glorify the lord. But I knew that I needed help because I wasn't the wife I had hoped I would be. I wasn't the mom I meant you, and I looked around at moms and wives of the parents of our teens in our youth ministry, and the ones whose kids still who wanted to hang out at their house, who wanted their friends to come over, their marriages, that they still laughed at each other's jokes and held hands when they walked into service. I'm like, I gotta know what they know. And I reached out to these women and asked them to just be my friend. And I didn't have to sit with them and have a chart and a graph where they helped mentor me.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:30:19]:

They mentored me by becoming my friend. And Titus 2 calls the older women to teach the younger how to love their husbands, which means be a friend to your husband and how to love their children. And I watched these women be friendly to their husbands. Did you know that in the thirties, 30 something, they call them the unfriendly years? Just because we're all tie I'm I'm 62. I'm not 30. But when I was in my thirties, I remember being tired and hormonal and overworked and underpaid, and I remember not being friendly to my family. It's common. But these women taught me how to be friendly to my family.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:30:54]:

And they invited me to a bible study, which I'm like, girls, I don't need another bible study. I honestly just need to know all of what you know, and they invited me to study the book of Philippians with them. And do you know that changed me? It it completely transformed my life. And when I pressed into the relationship with these women and they were honest about their successes and their failures. And that's what we want, honesty. We want real women that have walked the path ahead of us and have come ahead with their eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of their faith. We've watched them shake aside, cast aside whatever so easily besets them to run long and hard after Jesus, and then we get to follow in their footsteps. And as they pass the baton to us and now I've been married 42 years.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:31:43]:

My kids are grown. I'm a grandma I speak at grandma and grandpa camps now, and I don't speak at youth camps anymore. Look. I'll take it. But I'm passing the baton to the next generation of young women, and so are you. Because however old you are, there's someone right behind you that needs to know what you know. And I teach more powerfully from my failures than I do from my successes. I can write a letter to my younger self.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:32:06]:

It does no one any good. But if I write it and I give it to you, which is why I write the books I write, now it has the power with the biblical resources that are in there to change you and to help you mentor someone else. You. As a young mom full of I was overwhelmed and full of guilt. Since the bible instructs older women to teach the younger Titus 2 four, I asked god to help me find older women's that would walk the had walked the path ahead of me, god's extraordinary plan was to send to me ordinary women who raised extraordinary children who loved Christ. These women are not trained in child development. As mothers, they have traveled the path ahead of me. They had insights and understanding into what I was experiencing.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:32:47]:

Their lives had not been perfect or free from trials. They were genuine, precious, and vulnerable. Makes me cry. As they taught me what god had taught them, when I shared my struggles, I did not feel judged, rather I felt loved. Of all the friendships that I have had, the relationships that developed with these women have been by far the most pivotal in my life. They taught me not only how to parent, not only how to be a wife and a mother and a woman of god, but they taught me to be the woman god wants me to become. You. And now as an author, I hope I'm helping you in that journey.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:33:20]:

My question to you is, do you have godly women that mentor you in your life? My mother-in-law, Eleanor, was that woman for me. And my mom was a teenager when she had me. I was her 2nd child. My mom I led my mom to the Lord 6 months before she you passed away in 2016. I needed a godly mentor. And even at the end of Eleanor's life, I was watching her one day, and she was telling me about this woman that she had led to Jesus and how we have to help her, and we have to disciple her. We have to help her. We have to help her.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:33:53]:

And I said, okay, mom. We'll do it. Him, and I took Eleanor into the bathroom. And Eleanor didn't look like Eleanor anymore. Her haircut was like her husband had her haircut short. I think his barber did it, so it was easier to take care her, and she didn't wear any makeup anymore. And so she didn't really look like herself. And I took her to the bathroom and I had to help her.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:34:12]:

And when we got out bathroom, she was washing her hands. And as she was washing her hands, she looked in the mirror, and she said, there she is. I said, who is she? She said, that's the lady I led to Jesus. We have to help her. She didn't know. She led herself to Christ you because she didn't recognize herself. And in a mirror, she had seen this woman and knew this woman needed help, and the her help and her hope was a relationship with Jesus. Eleanor couldn't remember who Eleanor was, but this extraordinary woman remembered her calling to share the hope of the gospel even in her frailty, and that made her extraordinary.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:34:52]:

Wherever you find yourself, you, how frail you may feel, how empowered you may think you are. In Christ, our ordinary, he takes our little and he makes it much it becomes extraordinary. So we've covered 2 points, and we're gonna cover the third one after we eat some lunch. Remember that Christ is in you. Remember that Christ has a plan for you. And our next point when we come back from lunch will be remember that Christ has empowered you. Let's pray. Father, thank you for this message.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:35:22]:

Thank you for just surprising me the the direction that we end up going with these talks. I thank you, lord, for the women that are here. I know the ones that need to hear it are are pondering what your spirit is whispering to their heart. I pray that each one of us leave here changed by the power and the work of your spirit in us. In Jesus' name, amen.