The Joy Factor: Unlocking the Secrets to Living a Fulfilling and Joyful Life with Pam Farrel

Bio: Pamela Farrel
Two phrases sum up Pam’s approach to life:

Choosing Joy!

One ordinary woman connected to the extra-ordinary God can make difference!

Pam Farrel is an author who has recently released an ebook called "Infectious Joy" during the pandemic. This ebook contains 30 verses about joy and offers a creative way to process them, along with worksheets for further reflection. In addition to this, she has also created a new resource called "Growing a Joyful Heart" which includes delightful distractions to incorporate more joy into our lives on a daily basis and reduce stress and sadness.

Copies of "Growing a Joyful Heart" can be found in various bookstores, with Amazon being the fastest option. For a more personalized copy with an autograph, it can be purchased directly from love-wise.com.
Read the rest of Pam's Bio Here:

Her writing career began shortly after she began attending church as a child. She wrote her first book under a tree on her family farm. As an adult, she has published more than 40 books including the best-seller Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman, Becoming a Brave New Woman, Devotions for Women on the Go!, Got Teens? 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband; Red Hot Romance Tips for Women, 10 Secrets for Living Smart, Savvy and Strong and Discovering Creative Bible Study Experience books: Discovering Hope in the Psalms, Discovering Joy in Philippians, Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament...

Pam is an engaging and energetic leader who has impacted women’s lives with her experience as an international speaker, Director of Women’s Ministry, radio co-host, newspaper columnist, pastor’s wife, youth leader and mentor.


Want more: You can WATCH in full ON YOUTUBE or FACEBOOK this one hour interview!

Bill & Pam's Website: Love-Wise.com
Mentions:
Seasoned Sisters Ministry
Discover Wisdom in the Proverbs GROUP
Get Pam's Free ebook HERE: Infectious Joy

A Few of Pam's Books:

• Growing a Joyful Heart
• Men are Like Waffles - Women are Like Spaghetti
• Discovering Joy in Philippians

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"This podcast is for the purpose of mentoring only and is not a replacement for therapy. We suggest you seek out the help of a trained biblical counselor for help with your specific situation.”

Transcript

Rhonda Stoppe [00:00:02]:

We are live. I am super excited. Today, I am interviewing my friend. Pam Pam Farrell is an international speaker and author of 59 books. I think it's 60 now. Is that correct? Yes. I'm writing my 60th. writing your 60th, including best selling. Men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti. Her newest releases are discover wisdom in the proverbs, a creative Bible study experience, which is 5th in the award winning best selling, discovering the Bible series. I love that. With co author, Jean E Jones and Carla, how do you say Jones Latman, Dorensher, and growing a joyful heart, which she co authored through Karen Whiting. Pam and her husband, Bill, have been happily married for 43 years and their love stories in my book, real life romance. You can read how they met, and it's super good. and they co direct love wise ministries, and they make their home on a live aboard boat, dog in Southern California. I was born in Southern California. I am a California girl. So -- Woo hoo. -- I gotta tell Pam, Pam. I'm happy you're here because people are leaving in droves. And I'm like, right? We came back in 2000 from Texas. We'd planted a church in Austin. God called us back. We cried the whole way. But I always hashtag called to Cali. God called us to California, and I know people are leaving. And as the dark gets darker, the light shines brighter, and you and Bill are some of those lights in Southern California that I so appreciate todays that we are going to talk about joy from your book, Growing a joyful heart, I have been loving this devotional. It is packed with your stories, other authors. I know I saw doctor Michelle Bengtson, who I love her. I love the history of Susanna. Isn't it Susanna Wesley and John Calvin and spurgeon, just history of people that had to fight for joy, that had to find joy in circumstances that were like trials. as well as biblical accounts of people in scripture. So and todays, you're gonna talk to our listeners just about that. What free resources do you have for our listeners?

Pam Farrel [00:02:26]:

So, I'll be giving everybody in the audience who wants it. Infectious Joy, which is actually an ebook that I penned during the pandemic, and it has 30 verses about joy and a creative way to process them, plus some worksheets that I'll mention a little bit later. And then I have a a brand new resource that I created for the launch of, growing a joyful heart, and that is delightful distractions a way to, like, plan in joy moments, I want a day to keep our joy up and our stress and sadness down. Where can we get copies of growing a joyful heart? Pretty much anywhere our books are sold. If you want it fast, go to Amazon. If you wanna save a little bit, go to christian author com. If you wanna personalize copy and have me autograph, you can pick it up at love-wise.com

Rhonda Stoppe [00:03:18]:

Karen Whiting has it on her website. And our publisher is AMG, and they also have it. So, okay, let's just jump into some of these questions. Your newest devotional, growing a joyful heart, tell me what led you to write it. And How are you celebrating the launch with this devotion on joy? So,

Pam Farrel [00:03:35]:

I've been known for probably 20 years for just a simple phrase, choose joy and joy. And so Karen approached me when, she has a whole series. a peaceful heart, a hopeful heart, a mother's heart. So she has a series. And when she was thinking about who, like, majors in joy. She's like, you have to be my co author for this. And I love it because Karen herself is such an overcomer. I mean, she is a military wife that's, like, lived all over the world, moved her family, you know, and then her husband had cancer, and now she's a widow. And so she's a girl who lives out her message. And so I'm like, Yes. I would love to team with you because I see that you have the ability to hold on to joy through some really dark moments.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:04:26]:

Let's unpack this. What is joy? Really?

Pam Farrel [00:04:29]:

Well, the new testament, describes joy with a word called, And it is in the Bible in the new testament more than seventy four times. So when god repeats himself, it matters. And so god really wants us to hold on to our joy. And joy is not just happiness. so some of the synonyms when you look up the original word, could be things like thriving, flourishing, happiness, joy, like, gladness. but my favorite is calm delight. That's my favorite biblical, like, synonym. Combs the line. And the reason why that's my favorite is because it gives you something to do when you're stressed out or when you're depressed because, joy is actually a verb. It's a choice to rejoice. Rejoice and Lord always, again, I say rejoice. that is a verb. And so, I love comp delight. Let me just give you an example.

We're just so we were lit we, like, downsized and moved on to our Liverpool Board boat about 8 years ago, to help caregivers then eighty eight year old parents now Bill's mom's 93, Bill's dad's in heaven, but we moved all that and we gave it away. all of our worldly goods to people in ministry, so that we could live on a live onboard boat, because that's like a little vacation. Right? You know, joy on the water. so COVID comes around. They shut down all the marinas and so and and we are dealing with this COVID thing. We don't know what it is, and so we're thinking that we're the best people to take care of Bill's parents 247. because we don't know what's going on yet. So we moved to the office that Bill had put here on their their property which is an RV that's 300 square feet.

So, literally, people would ask me, are you a happy camper? because that's what I was doing. You know? And I don't know about you, but that was, like, never on my goal sheet. I wanna grow up and live in a trailer on my in laws property. No. No. That was not on my goal sheet. And so I I had to cultivate joy, and one of our friends, are the buffoons Jan Laura and their entertainers. And so they're great marriage experts with their fun and funny. So they held this date night. And they said, okay. So when we just get on each other's nerves after being together 247, because of this COVID thing, we just go to different into the house.

And, Bill and I just start laughing because we don't have different ends of the house. We have, like, inside and outside. That's all we got. And so, we are cultivating, calm delight. And so my mother-in-law is agoraphobic and a hoarder and easily, like, erupts, emotionally volatile. And so, if I were dealing with my mother-in-law and she was erupting, I would push pause, and I would say, what would bring calm to my mom right now? What would bring calm to me right now? What would be a delightful traction for my mother-in-law. What would be a delight for me to do right now? And so then I would take action after praying on that. Oh, what would bring calm to mom and a delight. Oh, she loves lemon cookies. Let me go get some lemon cookies. What would ring calm to me? Yes. But I'm praised, miss oh, grab Dylan. Let's go on a prayer walk. And on our prayer walks, we'd listen to Christian comedy on the way out and pray for each other on the way back. So it became just this, choice to rejoice. And, you know, that really goes back to my friend Debbie, who was, one of California's first female fire captains. And she works ETSD, first responders to help them get their joy back. And because first responders kinda see the underside of life as pastor's wives, as do pretty much anybody who's arrived, COVID. so we're all kinda there PTSD. And they to help them get their joy back, they would have them write down 30 things that they knew always brought them joy. And it could be simple things like, your favorite latte or standing with your feet, the grass. and you would just write down 30 of them and then put one on your calendar every day. And so when I designed infectious joy, that giveaway, I put a joyblossom where there's 30 petals and you write down something joyful, and then you put one on your calendar. and you create your own joy moment.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:09:12]:

And all of this is in the book. I just I've I have, like, so many where's my camera? I've got so many notes and highlights of the things that you're talking about. Even the lemon cookies, like, my my mother-in-law had Alzheimer and it was a different season. His mom had Alzheimers, so we moved them up onto our property. And, man, that was hard, especially I was the daughter she never had. She loved me, and then all of a sudden, she couldn't stand me.

Pam Farrel [00:09:38]:

Didn't know you. Oh. I know. And it was devastating

Rhonda Stoppe [00:09:41]:

But to have those those joyful distractions, those, you know, like, you just talked about, I read that in your book this morning, the lemon cookies that she loved so much. Kinda redirect. I mean, my mother-in-law, if I put let her put lipstick on, she was so happy that she looked pretty again.

Pam Farrel [00:09:58]:

so simple. Like, lipstick. It's a choice you rejoice. I love that. You had something. And we've we've re plan our joy, it's easier to hold on to it when life gets tough. And the other thing is when we it's a choose joy rejoice, when we hit those really hard moments, like my father-in-law, as he had more and more strokes, he lost his ability to communicate with words and he was an engineer. He put, like, Minh on the moon, designed the, engines for the rocket ships and all that. So he's brilliant. But, he once he started talking to my husband in numbers, like, you 9768 And, you know, we're like, what we can tell by tone of voice that this is not good, 68. but we had to laugh, you know, if you don't laugh, you cry. And so -- Right. -- we just maximize that even when, on his the day we laid him to rest, our my son, Caleb is a engineer. And so he went through, and he put everybody's birthdays and anniversaries, and then all of the equations you would use to put men on the mood and, like, the sound barrier. Like, he did all his engineering equations. and we put numbers on dad's casket, and we pray for him as we lower it down.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:11:18]:

Yeah. And that's choose that's choosing joy. It is honestly, truly, I think people see people that go through difficult circumstances and they find joy and they don't understand the plan or how they got there. It's it's it's nehemiah. You talked about the building of the wall, nehemiah 810, the joy of the lord is your strength, but we do have to fight for joy. Right? We have to plan to be joyful. because There's in my in our book, the marriage mentor, my husband writes, but this is life for all of us, talking about trials, and he says, this is life. for all of us instead of looking at their life and it's they always have such an easy time of it. They don't go through the struggles that we go through. They do. But if their eyes are fixed on Jesus, they can go through it with joy, and it doesn't destroy them. So I love your resource. Yeah.

Pam Farrel [00:12:54]:

So consider it all joy when we even count our various trials. Your husband's riding on the money on that one. Yes. Yes. I had a choice to rejoice. The first thing to remember is that joy should be proactive. We need to plan our joy cons. Yes. I love that. I love that. So you have 10 secrets in another book that you have called 10 secrets of Living, smart, strong, and savvy. It's a handbook for women over 45. and then that you share what harsh life transition hit you in midlife and how to begin to cultivate joy. I'd love for you to share that. I just got through midlife. No more hot flash is. All that's behind me. I'm so great. I'm sixty two years old. I'm I'm in the home stretch with all that. I think my so back when I wrote, 10 secrets of living strong, smart and savvy. The first rendition was called Fantastic after 40. I was a pastor's wife. And so I looked around and I saw how much women were carrying in midlife. I mean, they're you're dealing with kids and teens and tweens and launching kids into college, paying for cars and graduations and proms and then you start paying for weddings, and it can be, like, expensive. so I had I had women on my heart that were going through this stage of life. And, we were kind if you you can be hitting the pinnacle. You'd be hitting your stride too. And so I went wanna walk with Bill, And, I said, wow, isn't this amazing? You know, men are like waffles, like spaghettis, are the best seller list, and You just built this new church building, and our church is now the biggest in town after all this hard work for 17 years. And our kids are teenagers, and they're making good choices. And I love being a director of women's ministry for you. I'm like, woo hoo. It's like our life is a beautiful handcrocheted afghan. And then it's something someone took a hold of one string and unraveled our life as we knew it and how it hit was Bill. We were on a media tour, and Bill wasn't feeling well. So it went to the doctor. And the doctor said, Bill, how long have you had high blood pressure? And he's like, I don't. He's like, you do today. And that got Bill's attention because Bill's dad, had a stroke when he was 40 and left him disabled on half his body. And Bill's grandfather had a stroke when he was 42, and he died. And so my very healthy husband was no longer healthy. There's this erratic blood pressure stuff that they couldn't figure out. And so, how it, like, it just kept building. The stress kept building. in that, Bill went to his home doctor, and the doctor said, okay. You're a full time writer, full time speaker, and full time pastor, You're burning the camel at both ends, Bill. Yeah. Yeah. What advice would you give? You're a people helper and feels like you have some strategic life choices to make. And so to make a long, painful story shorter, he resigned his lead pastorate of a church we had served for you know, 17 years at church where we love the people and most of them loved us. And, right after Bill resigned, which is huge emotional for a guy. Then right after that, our son got hit in a football game, And he had a concussion and a knee injury. And then the next night, our junior college son was hit in a football game had a shoulder injury. He was a quarterback. And, we are praying for scholarships for those boys through football because we're down to one income. know? And then the next day, our little son and junior high was hit illegally in a football game rush Children's Hospital in ICU, blood transfusion, all that. And, so we got Caleb through that. And, We had him in the hospital. And todays the end of that week, I'm like, we have a speaking engagement, but, like, we need somebody to stay with Caleb, but we need groceries. So, okay, what if I go take this big engagement, hon, and you stay with the with Caleb. And so that's what we did. And on Sunday morning, I got a phone call that my forty year old brother had just had a heart attack, and I come take care of his kids too. Yeah. Other than that, Missus blinking, how'd you like the theater? You know, it's it's hard. And something on my face must have shown my stress. And so people started asking me, so, Pam, how you doing? And I didn't know how to answer them because the answer was, like, too long, too personal, too depressing. So why wreck their day? And so I asked god, how do I answer these people? They're so kind. And god asked me a question. What kind of person do you want to be? And I said, well, I wanna be the kind of person that can choose joy no matter what life sends your way because your word says in me and my eight ten that the joy of the lord is our strength. So I choose you, Jesus, I choose joy. And it became like a motto that stuck with all my audiences, with all my brands. And the joy of the lord is your strength, that joy in the Old Testament in Hebrew is gladness. It's sometimes rendered hold a festival with god. Alright. Awesome. And the joy of yours, your strength, that word strength is your fortified city It's so it's your noregrets. And I like to think of that, verse about, the righteous, the name of the lord strong tower that righteous run-in are safe. And so joy in the lord is where there is safety. It is our fortress. And, so I I just started sharing that. I started living it. I started saying it, choosing joy, choosing joy, choosing joy, And after I shared it at one conference, 4 years later, I came to the same conference ground, and this woman ran up to me at the parking lot. And she's like, you just have to know. And I'm like, what? And she's like, well, I really love the joy of the lord. It's your strength, that whole choosejoy joy thing, and I didn't really know why I liked it until I went home, and I found a note from my husband who had left me for another woman, and I have a toddler. And so I said to my little boy, honey, we're just gonna choose joy. And so that's what we've been doing for 4 years. And just this week, my washer was, like, broken and suds were all I was standing in the laundry room suds up to my knees. My car was broken. My son was home with the flu, and I started crying. And my little boy ran in and said, well, remember mommy to some joy.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:18:45]:

Yes. And they see that. And then our kids grow up and, you know, hashtag old ladies know stuff because we've lived it. We've seen it lived out. And then our children have observed always say sometimes your trial is not about you. Sometimes the very trial you're enduring is to validate your testimony to your children. So then then kids and your grandkids to see that you really do believe what you say that you believe. And even as I say that, I have trepidation about What's the next trial god's gonna use to validate my testimony? Because he gives us a break and then something else rises because this is life for all of us. but I love that we can choose joy, that we can choose to rejoice, that we can create distraction, and it's a calm delight. So I'm gonna stop here for the audio portion that will be on the, old ladies know stuff broadcast. And again, this is we're talking about Pam's book, growingajoyfulheart, and you can get it wherever books are sold.

Pam Farrel [00:20:01]:

But we're gonna if you don't mind, Pam, if you have time, we're gonna keep chatting a little bit longer. I'll stop the audio interview right there. but I wanna keep going because I love your questions. You have time to keep going for a little bit? Yeah. I'm great. Thanks. Great. Okay. Good. -- time to cultivate joy. That's it's It saves you time. You know, depression is really a time waster. And so as we choose joy, you know, we just get more done. We're more productive.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:20:06]:

Yeah. And it's exhausting. Honestly, being living in discouragement and blaming others for our trials and resenting god for allowing our trials. It it steals our joy. It renders our prayers powerless, and it makes us ineffective for the kingdom that god would do through us exceedingly abundantly above all we could ask or imagine, but it's really really trusting him when those trials seem to make no sense. So what is a status of joy in our society today?

Pam Farrel [00:20:40]:

So, okay, this is really kinda sad. about 20% of people say they're happy. That's not very many. Right? No. And, because of COVID, since COVID, we're at a 5 decade low. in our joy quotient in society. So we will stick out, like, shining lights. Like -- Right. -- let your light so shine. Move for men that They might see your good works and clarify your father who's in heaven. And that word let your light shine. it's like shine so bright. You can't miss it. Like, light the top of a mountain on fire to help get those ships in. You're a lighthouse of joy. and you'll stick out in this society. If you are a person that cultivates joy, holds on to joy, helps other people have joy by sometimes reframing, you know, what they're going through, by listening to them, by pointing them to the character traits of god. Like, god's the creator. So because god's the creator, he can create a path. He can create a way He can create, you know, things for you to do. He can create solutions out of nothing. So we can really be a beacon of hope and help by having time. And I loved, in your book in,

Rhonda Stoppe [00:22:01]:

Get the title, right, Growing a Joyful Heart, reading of the historical people that you talked about, people that god used greatly, spurgeon, and how he went through a time of depression. And Susanna Wesley lost children and had all kinds of trials in her life. And yet her steadfast joy and trusting the lord, she raised up some amazing, godly preachers from from being a mom that just fought for joy and continue to trust god. So I like that because I think there's such a false doctrine. There's such a false teaching right now that if You do everything that's right. God will make you healthy, wealthy, and prosperous. If you have enough faith, you're gonna not be sick. If you have enough faith and you speaking into existence, you're gonna have all of your financial needs met. You're not gonna, you know, have to live in a trailer on your in laws property and take care of it. Right. Your success in serving god is going to be blessed in monetary, monetary ways. And I know you can kinda speak to that. Right?

Pam Farrel [00:23:06]:

Right? It's I just think that, our joy is despite our circumstances. that that's when people really ask us about our joy. They they don't sit around and say, oh, I wanna talk to the richest people. because they'll have the answers for me. No. No. They wanna talk to people who are in a tough place and are still able to hold on Jesus. Hold on to joy. Hold on to the relationships. And so god shines brightest in the dark. and so move our candles in the dark when we choose joy.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:41]:

Absolutely.

Pam Farrel [00:23:42]:

And I think -- Like, Ruth and Naomi. Their story so love it because, I mean, Naomi was so depressed. She renamed herself. You know? No. Call me more. Yeah. I'm bitter. Yeah. And so she was so but she was smart enough. Like, I always tell women when you don't know what to do, go back to the people, the places, and the promises of god where you know that you know that you know that you last heard god and todays voice. And that's what she did. She, like, went back home where she knew she would encounter the god of Israel. And then Ruth was smart enough to go with her. Yeah. Wow. What they I mean, she had to glean the fields, not like oh, okay. That's like what poor people do. I know I was raised on a farm. We ate fields, after the crops were we went and picked up all the leftover, you know, apples and potatoes and whatever. so I've been that. I've been that cleaner of the fields. And, but they hung in there, and they kept chasing god, basically, and then obeying him radically. Right. And, while the chapter 4 of Ruth is worth it all. Like, in -- It is.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:01]:

Yes. Two paragraphs you hear, like, happily ever after and then some. And then Orpa, the other sister-in-law, went back at Naomi's prompting. Like, you know what? I have nothing for you. Go back to what you know. Go back to what's familiar. Go back to your your old you know, gods and the culture that you're familiar with. And Orpa wept, but she went back. And we never hear from Orpa again. Right. You don't know what happened to her. Yeah. But the walk of Ruth's faith and the love for her mother-in-law, god was, man, did he show up? And, boy, she got to rock that baby in her arms, be the grandma to that little one that eventually would grow up and be, you know, the ancestor, the grandfather of King David. Like, I love all of that. Mine in pieces. That's kind of important.

Pam Farrel [00:25:41]:

Yeah. Kind of important. So sometimes it's hard. And honestly, when you look at, Naomi's life, she followed her husband because there was a drought in Israel. So she followed her husband to foreign land. Yeah. Really probably not what god wanted them to do. Right. Right. He was kind of, like, not a man of faith. and she's doing by him. Yeah. And then he dies and leaves her there. Then her sons die and leave her there. So, I mean, this is like a great story because it it shows a storm, a hurricane, emotionally, in Naomi's life. And yet she turns and chases god. I just love it.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:26:21]:

Yes. And her zeal to chase after god had such an impact on her daughter-in-law who said, I'll go where you go. I, you know, I love that. So, yeah, you're right. Our light shines brightest when we have nothing but faith when all of our life has fallen apart. And even as I'm preaching this to myself, it scares me. You know, god uses those seasons, and I have stories, and I know you do too. But let's move on to another question. Give us some practical ways to cultivate joy in a woman's life, maybe in their marriage or in their family.

Pam Farrel [00:26:52]:

Yeah. So the first was, proactive. You know, do that joy blossom. Make that list. The second is joy is reflective. in my, in that infectious joy book, I have a handout, and it's it came from a two page spread in my own bullet journal. that I call it radiant joy. It's just the sunshine with rays of the sun and every day at the end of the day, I write down a praise. I thank god. for something that happened in my day, something positive. You can use a little calendar, you know, those giveaway kinds from insurance or the dollar store. It doesn't matter where you write it, but just write it down day after day. And what that does is it helps you cultivate that attitude of gratitude and gratitude and joy are connected to each other so many times in, the old and new testament. It's like, it changes our heart, when we are reflective. And we remember the goodness of god, like, just the word remember is in the old testament, like, hundreds of times. So that, again, it's a priority of god. So joy is reflective. And then joy is, creative. when one of the things that we do in, growing a joyful heart and then also in my bible study, discovering joy in Philippians is it has a bunch of art coloring pages. And whether you draw or you do a fine art or you sew, you put on music and you dance. When you do something creative, the way god wired us is our problems resolve on one, our problems reside on one side of our brain and creativity is on the other side of our brain. So when we are creating,

Pam Farrel [00:28:42]:

we cannot think of our problems. I love -- I did not know that. I did not know that. Say that again. That's so good. Say it again. We need drugs. You just need to create.

Pam Farrel [00:28:52]:

Yeah. Our problems are on one side of our brain. Creativity on the other side. So do something creative. Pull out the color in book and color with your grandkids. Something creative. That's life changing. You know, I just think, you know, god set that example in the beginning god created. First five words. So when we are functioning in the way that god made us to function creative, he rescues us It's beautiful. And so I was encouraged to do something creative. And so every day in, growing a joyful heart, we have a choose joy todays. It's like a takeaway, and some of them are creative. Some of them are fun like a party. Some of them are splash out joy to other people, but it's something tangible that you can do. Again, joy is a verb.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:29:40]:

Yes. Love it. Love it. That's so great. Okay. So, What about in your marriage or your family? Like, specific -- Joy.

Pam Farrel [00:29:47]:

The last one is Joy is relational. And, okay, who would you rather spend time with? grumpy Gus or happy Hannah. I mean, yeah, we wanna spend time with people who are delighted that were in their presence. Like, when my husband, when we see our grandkids, he'll go, like, he's thrilled. Like, they're, like, more important than anybody in the whole world because they are the 2 us, and they'll just run into each other's arms. And, my grand girls, we get on Zoom, but they don't live in the same city. And she knows I will stop everything -- Yeah. -- to read and color with her or listen to what she had going on during her day. And in in our themarriagementor, it's the same way. If we are delighted that our husband just walked in the door. Like, I I todays say, do the do the twist? Come on. Let's twist. That means turn around and look at him when he comes in the door and be excited that he's there. Just small things make a big difference, in our themarriagementor. So, I, obviously, what way can you cultivate joy with your kids, with your grandkids for your husband? you know, when I go out of my way, when I'm at the grocery store to bring home one of Bill's favorite snacks, I don't spend any more time but I thought of him. Yeah. And so it's just being thoughtful. that's a lot what it is to splash out joy is remembering somebody and what will lower their stress, what will raise their ability to handle the stress of the day. Anytime you think of another person, you're gonna be giving them joy.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:31:39]:

Mhmm. And on that's a peek into I know some people might be watching or listen wondering how they can cultivate friendships. You know, maybe they they go to church every week. They haven't connected with anyone. They they come in as soon as church is starting. They leave as soon as it's over. If they are standing in the lobby and no one's talking to him, they pull out their phone to stay distracted because I don't have to feel rejected. If I'm busy on my phone, no one will I won't notice if no one's not coming up and talking to me. Sometimes it takes courage to to spread your joy. And and honestly, it's genuine joy. Right? Joy is that It's not just pretending that everything's okay, but it's finding ways to spread relational joy to other people. Sometimes that's just smiling at an elderly woman that comes up to talk to you. So I could talk to you all afternoon, but, I'm going to respect your time And I'm gonna put up here where people can find you. That's your that is your website. Correct? love-wise.com.

Pam Farrel [00:32:39]:

Love Wise, we like to say "we park ourself on the corner of god's love and god's wisdom". And our verse is, Proverbs 198, the one who gets wisdom, loves life.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:32:51]:

I love that. That's really great. Thanks so much, Pam. I have so enjoyed this session with you. God bless you.