Part 2_Making Love Your Legacy Part 2 - A Message of HOPE

Making Love Your Legacy is a message Rhonda shared at a MOPs when this was the theme for MOPs international. Listen to the love stories. I pray they inspire you to make true love your legacy too. May your marriage relationship be one marked by Christ's love that He can use to draw your children to Himself. And that one day your children, and grandchildren will want to emulate in their own marriages.

You can also watch our Meredith & Jake, and Kayla & Estevan telling their own love story here:
Meredith & Jake
Kayla & Stev

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"This podcast is for the purpose of mentoring only and is not a replacement for therapy. We suggest you seek out the help of a trained biblical counselor for help with your specific situation.”

Transcript

Rhonda Stoppe [00:21:19]:

The second is a legacy of love that turns to each other. So Meredith and Jake is my next kid's story. Oh, sorry. They're putting pictures up. Isn't that fun? That's our meadow. We live up in Del Puerto Canyon, up outside of Patterson. So Jake and Meredith met. She was at the Master's University in her junior year of college. He came, he played baseball, and Jake really had an eye for Meredith. And Meredith was, like, not even interested in him or anybody. She wasn't wanting to date all of that. In fact, he wrote her a poem one time, and she told me, "I kind of don't want to hang out with him anymore because it's getting too serious." So I'd gone to visit her door room, and the note was there.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:21:49]:

And I'm like, Can I read it? And she's like, yeah. It literally was something like this. "Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know. I think I might like you." And that was it. Do you thought? The way Mer was talking, I thought he asked for marriage. And it's like, no. Okay.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:22:02]:

And so she walked into the door I mean, into the cafeteria one day, and Jake's six what is he, six four? He's really tall, and he was real funny and loud. She walked in just as he was pretending to be a pterodactyl. Imagine a six foot four pterodactyl. And he jumps on the table in the cafeteria. He jumps on the table, and he's doing this pterodactyl thing. And as his eyes meet Meredith's, the table collapses underneath him. And when the table falls, people's food goes everywhere. Meredith was so embarrassed for him.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:22:34]:

She leaves. He's embarrassed. And that was the beginning of him trying to impress Meredith. And as time went on, the Lord brought their hearts together. And so she brings him home, which Meredith never brought a guy home. And we live in the middle of nowhere, and he drives up in the car with Meredith, and it's pitch black, and I'm painting our cabinets. And I was standing on a bar stool, and I'm painting, and there's a big turret window that she would see when we drive up. And I was like, (waving my hands and cheering). Well, at the same time, I was doing that a peacock screeched - our peacock screeched when someone drives up. and so when he screeched, Jacob said, "Is that your mom (screeching)?

Rhonda Stoppe [00:23:13]:

So anyway, we come to the house, and it's the first time that we meet, and that kind of broke the ice for him. But watching her fall in love with him...he talked to Steve. "I'm in love with your daughter", Steve. And he met on the phone for a long time before he asked Meredith to marry. But again, we had sent our kid out into the world, hopefully helping them love Jesus and then trusting the Spirit to guide them toward its path. So when Jake finally to asked Meredith to marry him, he took her to the beach in Malibu, and he put candles in the sand in a heart shape or whatever, had some friends do it with some flower petals.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:24:00]:

And he takes her over there and he's all ready to ask her, and she's like, we should go. And he's like, Why? And she's like, It's a seance, we shouldn't be here. And so he had to calm her down and ask her to marry him. And she said yes. So they got married. It was a great story. And after they were they long story, they ended up back at the Masters College working on campus. Ended up living in a guy's dorm.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:24:23]:

Jake was an Rd, he was going to seminary at the time, and they lived in a guy's dorm. And they had one little girl named Karis who was the princess of the dorm, like, literally dressed in princess dresses every day. And all the guys bought into it. So she was the queen of the castle, and they had this really great life. And then Meredith got pregnant again, and it was an ectopic pregnancy. And there's a lot that's involved in that story, but it's a difficult thing to have the decisions you have to make through an ectopic pregnancy. And so after that baby died, Karis could tell something wasn't right, and they hadn't really talked to her about it. I think she was about three at the time.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:24:55]:

And so finally, Mer and Jake sat her down to say that the baby had died. And then Karis put her hands in her and she cried. And then she stopped and she looked at Meredith and she put her arms on Meredith's arms like this, and she goes, "But you will hold it in heaven". Isn't that sweet? And Karis prayed for Meredith, for God to put two babies in Meredith's tummy. And guess what? Meredith got pregnant with twins, and Meredith lost those twins. And all I kept thinking of was the scripture that said, "That the Lord gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." So when her next child was born, Ivy.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:32]:

We were all converging on the room to celebrate Ivy being here. And Jake stopped us and said, something's wrong with Ivy. She has some facial cranial deformities. She has something called goldenhar syndrome. And they took Ivy and they moved her over away from Meredith. So Meredith didn't get to even see her. And when they were examining her, she was crying. I went over and saying, Jesus loves me, and she calmed down.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:25:57]:

And the next night, that night we were all staying at Mary and Jake's apartment, and they called and said they think Ivy may be deaf. And they were going to do a hearing test on her. Brandon, who is a musician, stayed up all night interceding that the Lord would allow Ivy to be able to hear. And the next morning, she passed her hearing test. And we were so grateful and so thankful. But, you know, God called Meredith and Jake to go through this trial together. In fact, the day that Meredith graduated from college, Jake's parents came from Seattle, and the first time they ever met her and I was videoing as they met.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:26:31]:

And Jake's dad looked at Gloria, his wife, and said, "Gloria, there she is. There's the one we've prayed for his whole life. There she is." We were praying for God to bring marriage, a spouse, and his parents were praying, and I have it on video. It's so important that you pray for the Lord to not only give you a marriage that reflects Christ's love, so that your kids will know how to emulate that, but that you pray for Him to send them to a spouse. You don't know the trials your kids are going to go through. You don't know what God's going to ask them to endure. God does.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:27:06]:

And he knows who is the best mate for your children worthy to suffer. This is a quote from Real Life Romance. As Steve and I observed Jake and Meredith honor Christ in their trial. One scripture kept running over in my mind. Acts 5:41 says, "The apostles were rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer." What an incredible perspective Jake and Meredith had, knowing that God loved them and ordained for Ivy to be born to them, and that he promised to grant them his grace to daily meet their daughter's needs. Knowing, that was enough for them, God's plan all along. Unforeseen trials undermine many marriages.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:27:56]:

But Meredith and Jake saw how God brought the two of them together for ministry to Ivy and to the rest of their children. They have four children now.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:28:25]:

The Lord had graciously prepared them ahead of time as they learned his character before the trial. The next one real quick is Kayla and Estevan. We call him Stev. And he's Brandon's best friend. And he tells Steve, I have feelings for your daughter. And Steve did not throw this boy a bone. Feelings? What? Meredith, she's tool for you. And he's like, no, Kayla. And he's like, well, what does that mean? You can't date her. You can't marry her. She's too young.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:28:37]:

Why do you want and poor Stev. And he said I said, Stev, Kayla is the pastor's daughter, your best friend's sister, your other friend's cousin. Could you not pick somebody else? This is a difficult one. I know. I've tried so hard not to like her. Now what? Mom does not want to hear, I've tried so hard not to like your daughter. Steve didn't like it, but I loved it. And I met Steve when I was 14.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:29:01]:

So I get that your kids can be that young and be crazy for each other. And after Stev left the room, Steve had told him all the things that he wasn't allowed to do. And Steve said, "they're too young to have those feelings". I said, "Babe, I was 14 when I met you. And I knew". And he's like, "don't tell her that". She knows our story. But I remember one time when Stev asked, why does Steve hate me? And I said, oh, honey, he doesn't hate you.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:29:27]:

We believe your feelings for each other are genuine and strong, but you're young, and we want you both to be virgins when you get married. And Kayla's sitting in the backseat of the car going, but I said, we know in 18 years of youth ministry, the reality is, if we let you spend time alone together, you will not remain pure until you get married. And he was like, okay. He understood. And then his mom passed away, and while he was a senior in high school, and that was a difficult season for him. And sometimes, you know, when your kids go through something heavy together with the boy that they're dating in high school, you're like, I don't want them to get married just because she knew his mom. So Steve convinced Kayla to go away college for a year, and she did. And then they got married.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:30:14]:

And their love for each other has grown over the years. And I was going to talk I don't have time. I was going to talk about kayla had a miscarriage. It was very severe hemorrhaging and all of that. And here I will tell this part because I love the story. So Steve and I went on a cruise, and our phones weren't on, so our phones are always, you know, we're always accessible. We have the family group text that lights up all the time, laughing, talking about life, whatever. Pray for this, I can't find that, whatever.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:30:41]:

And we were gone. And when we pulled into port, our family group text just lit up, and we were like, what's up? And so we looked, and Kayla had had this miscarriage. She was in the hospital. Hemorrhaging. And here's our kids, Tony and Kyleen. Our oldest son is married to a doctor. She's giving medical advice. Meredith is like, do you want me to come to the hospital? I can come right now.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:31:04]:

Brandon and Jessy, we're praying for you. They were down in Southern California, and I told Steve, we can die. Look, they did it without us. And they directed each other to the Lord, to prayer. They gave wise counsel, encouragement, a life of legacy that, when they're gone, kids are going to keep encouraging each other with the word of God and with truth. Kayla and Steve lead the college group in our church, at our church now. And their kids watch them and learn from them. I'm skipping.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:31:41]:

Sorry. All these stories are in the book. Ponder this. Our story reminds us how deeply young people can care for one another. And although our culture says that sex before marriage is inevitable for teens, God can give them strength to walk in obedience to His plan to wait for marriage. And I'll just put a plug in for this "Choose Wisely Conference". High school seniors are invited. And any singles that you know, any young adult that you know.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:32:10]:

Single moms, whatever, invite them to come to this, because this is what we're going to be talking about at that event. So I only have a second to tell you about Tony and Kyleen's story. A legacy that learns a new way to love. Tony didn't come to our family till he was 15 years old. And you can read Tony's story in my book. Mom's raising Sons to be men. His life was so cute. His life was marked with a lot of pain, rejection before he came to our family.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:32:37]:

And when he grew up, he wanted to be a fighter pilot in the Air Force. He went to A and M University. He wanted to be a fighter pilot in the Air Force. He would talk about his dreams. And when ended up at Panama City, Florida, he met this girl Kylene. And the way he met her was one of the fighter pilots that had taken her out. Said she won't put out. And Tony's ears perked up.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:32:55]:

He's like, I'm gonna meet that girl. And Kylene says, growing up in Panama City, Florida, there's lots of fighter pilots, and all of her friends want to land a pilot, so they'll throw themselves at them. And here's Kylene playing volleyball on the beach. And Tony walks up. She's built like Barbie, truly like tiny feet. And it's like, I don't know how she doesn't fall over, but she doesn't. And he sees this beautiful girl, and he can't get her out of his mind. And soon he's transferred to Japan, and he's trying to forget about her.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:33:22]:

And he says, we'll talk, and he's got his career on his mind. He's going to be a fighter pilot. I mean, he is a fighter to he's building his career. I don't want to be married. Can't stop thinking about her. And he calls us from Japan. He wants to come home for Thanksgiving. He wants to fly Kylene out to meet us.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:33:34]:

And then as he calls, he says, I want to ask her to marry me while we're out there. He said he was laying in bed, and he sat up and said, "I'm going to marry that girl." He's got a little accent. "I'm going to marry that girl." And he said, "I just want to marry her while I'm there." And I grabbed the phone. I'm like, "you can marry her, but we have to get her dad's permission. There has to be a real wedding."

Rhonda Stoppe [00:33:54]:

You can't just say some words and be married because I know military spouses that never got a real wedding later. Anyway, long story short, she said yes. They had the most amazing, magical wedding that we planned in three days. You never would have known that it was only three days. Steve and I did their marriage counseling while our friends put on the best of weddings for them. But what I love about their story is that Tony says, "I have no doubt that God did not intend for me to meet this family and to learn what it was like to be a Godly husband and father." There may be friends of your kids, somebody in your world that you can just pull into your family. They may not have to move in with you.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:34:32]:

Steve was in youth ministry for 18 years. There were a lot of kids that could have lived with us, but only Tony was the one that God put in our hearts to adopt into our family. But living a life of love in front of a generation who desperately needs to believe that true love lasts is the best testimony you can give them for a relationship with Jesus Christ. And Tony and Kyleen, I'll read their ponder this. How might learning of Tony and Kylene's love story encourage you as a parent to pray more and manipulate less? Anxiety over a situation you cannot control will do nothing to help your children. But prayer is a force like none other. Prayer is the most powerful tool we as parents have at our disposal. And I don't have time to tell mine in Steve's Love story, but I'm telling you that it's been my favorite and I, every year grow more and more in love with him.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:35:25]:

And I want that for you. I want your kids to want to bring their kids home to see you guys when you're old like us and not okay, "Mom's going to say some digging comments to dad. Suck it up and just get through the weekend until we can go" Be the wife that adores her husband. And let it begin with you. Maybe he doesn't treat you with adoration. Let it begin with you. And it begins by loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and asking him because the Bible says you have, not because you ask, not asking him, Lord, I don't love my husband.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:35:57]:

I don't have those feelings for him anymore. I do resent him. Philippians says, "think on what is good, right, honorable praiseworthy which you have seen and heard and received in me. Practice these things and the God of peace will be with you." If there's no peace in your home, you're thinking on the wrong things. Ask God. "Remind me when I start thinking about the negative of my spouse." One Corinthians 13 says, "love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, believes all things" means, believes the best about them.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:36:26]:

Don't assign wrong motives to their actions. Just like you want them to cover with grace when you fail them, you offer that grace and let it begin with you. And if your spouse never changes, like my friend said, your kids are watching. And if that's what Jesus uses to bring your kids to wholehearted devotion to Christ, you could live it all again. It's worth it. I pray for all of you to make love your legacy. I pray that there will be a day your children's children will be telling stories about your depth of love for you, between you and your spouse. Let that be the baton that we can to our kids.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:37:04]:

Make love your legacy. Father God, thank you so much. I know I've talked so fast and covered so little, but I pray Lord, that you would just take these words and light a fire in us to work harder to be in love with our spouse. Our kids are pulling at us. It's an exhausting season. It's a season where we know that we need to work on our marriages and take our husbands to bed and laugh with them and go on dates with them. But we're tired. And Lord, I know that you know that You've called these women to this time in their lives, but You've also called them to love you with all of their heart.

Rhonda Stoppe [00:37:37]:

I pray that you would show them how. Cause them to go to Bible studies, to be surrounded by Godly mentors. Be friends with women whose goal is to love Jesus wholeheartedly and spill over into their marriages. A legacy of love that will outlive them and that their kids and grandkids will still tell their story. In Jesus name, amen.